Please Help
33/Male — I really need some advice.
About 2.5 years ago, my girlfriend and I broke up for a while. During that time, I had a one-night stand with an old high school friend. Everything seemed normal until she texted me saying she was pregnant by someone else and that we should stop talking because she was having twins. So we did.
About 9 months later, after she gave birth, she contacted me and said, “I think these kids might actually be yours.” It completely shocked me because we both believed someone else was the father. By this time, me and my ex had gotten back together.
We took a DNA test, and the twins turned out to be mine.
I had just graduated from surgical tech school and landed a job in the field. She asked me if I was going to help with the kids or just walk away and let another man raise them. I told her I would help as much as I could, but this whole situation was unexpected and honestly overwhelming because I never planned on having kids at that point in my life.
Once she found out I was back with my girlfriend, things started going downhill fast. I got arrested over allegations that were false, and because of that I lost my new job. I already had my own apartment, so after losing my income I started falling behind on rent.
After that, she kept filing restraining orders, then eventually dropping them, and would constantly send police to my house. Even through all of that, I still tried to be involved with my kids as much as I could mentally and financially handle. But she wanted me there full-time, and realistically I couldn’t do that. I take responsibility for my actions, but I was never prepared for this situation.
Eventually I found another job, and as soon as I did, she put me on child support. Since they’re twins, I’m paying around $900 every two weeks. Between that, rent ($1,640), utilities, and everything else, I’m drowning financially.
Then one day while my daughter was with me, she fell and got hurt accidentally like kids sometimes do. Their mother documented it like I abused her, even though she knows I didn’t. After that, I became scared to even have my kids because it feels like anything that happens could be twisted into something against me.
Now I barely get them because I’m honestly afraid for my freedom and future. But at the same time, if I don’t get them, she tries to use that against me too and is now taking me back to court on 5/27 for a child support increase.
At this point I feel trapped. If I spend time with my kids, I feel like I risk false accusations. If I don’t, I risk higher child support and looking absent. I’m behind on rent, mentally stressed, and honestly don’t know what to do anymore.
Any real advice would help.