bipolar boyfriend
Hi everyone
My partner (41M) and I (35F) have been together for about two years. When we started dating he informed me of his diagnosis (bipolar I) and as someone who had never really interacted with that impairment, I started reading up on it. The past year has been really rough, and over the last month he snapped and quit his job. We do not live together, but his parent helps him with his mortgage.
I am unsure of how to move forward. I am in love with this person. When he is stable he is the most caring, sweet, attentive, and loving partner. When his dysphoric he becomes very cruel, and when he’s euphoric he becomes really arrogant. When he’s depressed, he is super irritable and just flattened.
Naturally after learning a bit about the disorder, I anticipated a lot of these symptoms and have been getting better at recognizing behavioral patterns that are tells for when an episode may be triggered.
Of course it has affected every part of our relationship, but it specifically has affected our love life. He has zero libido—and when I’ve asked (because if I don’t ask we won’t be intimate for weeks at a time) he barely finishes and seems like he’s only doing it to comply w my requests.
It makes me feel unwanted, and that’s really been messing with my head. I ask for certain things and he agrees to do them and then does not.
Part of me is unsure if it’s bipolar or if he just does not like me. He does take his medication daily, but now that he’s not working and without insurance, I’m unsure of how that’ll keep up when he’ll need refills to maintain himself.
I’m so in love with him, and watching him drown unable to help him up is so stressful for me, it makes me feel like a terrible partner—less of a partner and more like a failing parent at times.
Any advice?