u/Frosty-Grocery9885

M19. I’m struggling to just watch the normal things cus the others ones seem so appealing to me and I can’t stop masturbating to it even tho I am engaged and I’ve talked to my partner about it but they don’t know what to do about it it’s been ruling my life and and I want to break out from it I’ve quit other addictions like vapes and caffeine but I’m not seeing improvements but it is the early stages I have connected some of the dots in my early childhood like being subjected to sex and porn at 9 and I was raped at 14 by a woman and my view on sex is very different to others I am also neurodivergent (ASD, ADHD) and the thought of coming off my phone is scary to me and it’s really been ruining my relationship and I just want to be a better man words cannot describe my pain every time I’m done and I just want to be a better person but it’s like it just takes over me