I'm a WFH mom with a 20 month old daughter. Our nanny has been with us a little over a year and she works two days a week. Nanny is punctual, personable, sticks to our schedule, is willing to do some cooking and light chores (even non-baby-related), and is willing/able to take more hours if needed. I have a good working relationship with her and our daughter seems well-cared for from a physical standpoint.
Lately I have been concerned that our daughter still gets upset when the nanny arrives and for a time after the handoff. Sometimes she's upset for 10-15 minutes after I've gone to my office, sometimes it's just a minute or two of crying. She knows the nanny's name and often says it when she's not here. I have tried to make a habit of "reminding" her that the nanny is coming both the night before and the morning of ("We get to see X tomorrow/soon!") to keep the arrival from being an "upsetting surprise." From what I can hear during the 7 hour day (2-3 hours of napping), she doesn't seem upset the rest of the time but is often saying "mama" (and sometimes "dada" or "grandma/grandpa").
I'm starting to get uneasy that they don't have enough of a bond after all this time and wonder if it's just not working (though I dread a new nanny hunt since overall we like this one).
Is this normal separation anxiety? Perhaps compounded by the fact that my daughter knows I'm still in the house?
Is it perhaps that the nanny isn't engaging/fun enough? I have concerns from what I can hear during the day that she just isn't providing enough developmental stimulation. This has become more glaring as our daughter has started walking (she was late to the game), talking more, and is overall "busier." It seems like each day is the same with the toys and activities we have on hand. It sounds like there is more independent play than what I would like for a nanny/child relationship.
How should I proceed? Attempt to keep the nanny and be more direct about the level of engagement we expect and hope that makes my daughter happier to hang out with her? Or do we need to cut and run after all this time of my daughter still not having enough of a bond to be happy when she shows up?