AIO Partner (F40) told me (M47) something that has rattled me
Partner (F40) told me (M47) that she was the “other women” in an affair when she was younger. This was with an older man and went on for some years (around 4, I think). She regrets the relationship now.
She told me about this 6 months ago. We have been together 11 years and have 2 children.
She told me that she felt “intensely” for him and when they were together it was like “stealing time”. She eventually broke it off after repeated promises to divorce his wife never came through.
She also told me that after they broke up, sometime later she saw a picture of him with a new woman and a baby, which “took the wind out of her sails”.
We got together about 5 years after this relationship ended, but they stayed in touch for a long time (until about 6 months before we started).
Now, I know that this all happened before my time so it’s not a cheating or jealousy thing… but it’s really rattled me. The fact that she did this bothers me morally and I ruminate on it a lot. The rumination often takes the form of sexual imagery.
This is quite distressing and when I am near / with her now I find myself often thinking about the affair. It makes me wonder if I love my partner.
If I can’t get past the moral aspect should I end it?
Or am I just being stupid about it?
TL/DR: partner told me about an affair and it is really sticking in my brain.
Edit: for the sake of clarity she did not cheat on me during our relationship. This was something that happened a long time ago, before we were together.