I'm [22M] Feeling Uncomfortable With Girlfriend's [22F] Hangout Habits
I’m struggling with something in my relationship and I want honest outside opinions on whether my feelings are reasonable or if I’m overreacting.
My girlfriend [22F] and I [22M], have been dating for about half a year, and she has a lot of male friends she met online who live near her. I genuinely don’t have a problem with her having guy friends, I actually think it’s important for partners to have friendships and their own social life. The issue is more about certain situations that feel too intimate to me.
For example, a few weeks ago she met a male friend one on one to get pizza together. That bothered me a little, but not much. I was able to brush it off pretty easily because it was in public and just felt casual, like, just two friends grabbing food in a public area.
But today she told me she wouldn’t be available for a few hours because she was going to a guy friend’s house to watch a new episode of The Boys together, one on one. That bothered me a lot more. To me, being alone together at someone’s house watching a show feels more personal/intimate than grabbing food in public.
I told her honestly that it did bother me, but that I still trust her and don’t think she’d cheat on me. I also said that part of what makes me uncomfortable is that I don’t know this guy or what his intentions are.
She responded by saying that she judges things by whether she herself would be bothered if I did the same thing, and that personally she wouldn’t care if I hung out one on one with a female friend, she also added that nothing of the sort would really bother her because she's not a "jealous" person. I told her I don’t think that’s a fair system because people have different comfort zones and different boundaries. Just because something wouldn’t bother her doesn’t mean I’m wrong for being uncomfortable with it.
The conversation kind of died after that and she changed the subject. The more I sit with it, the more it bothers me.
basically bottom line what i'm trying to figure out is -
Is it reasonable for me to feel uncomfortable about this specific situation, and bring it up to her?
Is this just insecurity/jealousy that I need to work through? Or is this more of a relationship boundaries/compatibility issue where neither person is necessarily wrong, but we may see things differently?