what’s the extent you would go for someone of your preferred gender that you’re not attracted to?
just want some opinions.
i’ve never had a best friend of the opposite gender before. not up till now (well, i did, like over a decade ago, but those people did actually like me…).
i’m just fascinated at how much my guy friend is willing to entertain me over the phone even when he’s in ns, when he’s not interested in me.
maybe it’s because i’m realistic or reserved in nature, but when i imagine myself in his shoes, i would never reply to someone i’m not attracted to that much, especially when in an environment where i’m constantly physically or mentally exhausted. even if i did, my responses would probably unconsciously get drier and drier over time…
or maybe it’s just that ns warps perception and he’s just seeking stimulation or attention because he’s actually quite a bad listener (no offence)… but i guess i do enjoy him sharing about what’s going on in his life more and i don’t really like sharing much about myself anyways.
personally, you will never catch me calling someone at night to talk, spilling my guts, sharing pictures, updating when i’ll be away and when i come back or even having a “soft spot” for someone of the opposite gender that i don’t have feelings for. heck, i don’t even do that with my girl friends. but i guess it is quite a narrow mindset to have. or maybe it’s because i’ve never been this close to a guy before, apart from relationships.
i know that in some other countries the “hb hg” culture is stronger and that this is completely normal, but in singapore’s context i’m not sure if this is that common… since i don’t think i have witnessed such friendships from my peers, unless they are talking stages or situationships.
i’m not sure if he’s like this with other girls, but from what i have heard from his guy friends, he’s quite secretive and doesn’t really show how he truly feels. but it might be because i’m a girl, so he’s more comfortable opening up because girls are more in touch with their feelings (?)
so i might actually have a genuine friend 🥹 curious to know, what’s your boundary when it comes to guy girl friendships or similar ones?
edit: the mixed answers here are exactly why i'm confused.