We are a group of three men (Robert, Theo and me) in our late 30s finishing a viticulture degree.
Monthly, we meet at Robert’s flat for dinner and blind wine tastings. Robert always says, "Don't bring anything, I'll provide the bottles and prepare the food."
I see it things this way:
Robert provides the venue (because it suits us all better logistically), a full meal, and multiple bottles
Theo never brings a bottle, never brings food, and has never hosted in 10 months.
I always bring one bottle and a small amount of cheese or charcuterie.
When I hosted because I still want to reciprocate, I used slightly different phrasing: "You don't need to bring anything." Robert still brought a bottle and a cake. Theo brought nothing.
Meanwhile, I'm starting to feel Theo is taking advantage of the "don't bring anything" rule to avoid contributing entirely and he never hosted nor even spoke about ever hosting.
My sister claims I'm the oddball and perhaps I'm being rude by ignoring Robert’s clear instructions. I view it as basic manners to not turn up empty-handed, especially when Robert is doing the heavy lifting.
So I spoke with Robert and asked him directly if it bothers him that I bring wine and some food. He said: "No it doesn't, that's very nice of you".
The questions basically are: Is Robert's answer to me genuine? Should I stop bringing wine and food? Is Theo right and not actually stingy?