u/Free-Ad-9886

I find the irony of when we were with the one we loved in the physical form we wanted to live as long as we could fearing the time when we must separate for a while.

Upon their loss, at least for me, time inverted to how long do I have to remain here on earth?

I guess like all things it’s a matter of perspective and for me purpose.

My wife is the other half of my soul and I can’t wait until we are reunited when it’s my time. I’m filling my remaining time with life and love until then.

We humble miserable survivors will endure until we are happily reunited again! Until then find a purpose to pour your heart into to make your loved ones proud! One of the things I’ve been blessed to discover is this board to say these things.

If grief is love with nowhere to put it, then why not spread some love here to those who know the depths of pain and loss?

I love you all my fellow widows/ers and so does Jesus! Without a doubt I know your loved ones are close to you and still love you too!

Much love and be kind to yourself.

At the expense of cliche in my last grief group therapy I found myself referencing the movie Titanic with regard to the love Jack and Rose shared.

My therapist was gently probing why I have decided to not pursue another relationship in the wake of my wife’s passing.

I explained it to him that like in the movie Titanic, after Rose was rescued and made it to America she lived a long life, found “love” again, had children with her spouse, but when it came time for her to die she did so with Jack in her heart.

I feel the same about my wife. We shared a once-in-a-lifetime love and I could not love another to the same level ever again.

To me it would be unfair to the next Lady that I could not commit my heart to this level again and not give her all my love that she would deserve.

Many widows/widowers do move onto another relationship and I am not knocking that at all. I know that even my wife would want me to be happy in my remaining time here on this Earth and if that meant another relationship then she would be all for It.

My decision is a personal choice. This is just how I feel moving forward. This makes me happy. Please do what makes you happy. Your loved ones would want that. My situation is unique to me as yours is to you. I am no better or worse then anyone in our pain and recovery. No judgement, only happiness.

I only wanted to share this as this sub has helped me a lot in my grief and recovery and interacting with you helps a lot!

I don’t know if anyone else feels the same way but if you do here is some evidence you are not alone.

Love you all!

Since my wife passed on and I found this channel I can’t help but notice how something so common like death is so uncommonly painful. Death has been around as long as births have. Everyone alive will experience it with someone they love and eventually themselves in time. Intellectually this is easy to comprehend but I don think our society does a good job in general of preparing it’s people for the loss of a loved one.

I‘ve read the price of love is grief. This I’ve found to be abundantly true. I’d like to add the deeper the love, the harder the grief. I think that should be taught as apart of entering into a loving relationship.

Not to scare away anyone or discourage people from loving each other to the maximum, but to plant a seed that in your pain at their eventual loss, remember it hurts so bad because it was real love, something to be proud of!

My goodness this is the worst emotional, mental, and sometimes physical pain I have ever been in. I’ve read and believe that this pain will never go away.

But conversely, if my pain is so deep then that means my love for her was just as deep. That is something to be proud of. The pain means that I was ABLE to love this deep and maintain it over 23 years. If your in the same amount of anguish for your loved one, that means you are a soul WORTH the love you gave and got back from your lost love.

Many times I’ve thanked Jesus for allowing her to go before me as I could not sit well in heaven watching her go through this. There is an afterlife and your loved ones do know your anguish. I take much soulice that she is out of pain and with the Lord. It sucks that I have to wait to join her but I would rather suffer this pain then have it inflicted on her.

We here are lucky to have found someone, regardless of how long, to love this much. I think in today’s age this is a rare thing. We were Special for what we had and in time us lonely survivors will hopefully look back with gratitude for it.

I don’t know how or if you will ever get over it. Me, I’ve gone the way of the house monk until I get to a point where I can function again. In my probably incoherent rant here I just wanted you to know the love and the pain were and are worth it.

”It is better to have love and lost then not loved at all” is indeed a bitter pill to swallow however looking back at the time I had with my love I would do it again knowing this was the outcome. Better for me to lose half of my soul in her passing then to never have a completed soul with her. I am a better man because of her and am grateful for the time I had with her.

Much love to all my fellow suffering souls. I love all of you and hope you find at least a bit of hope from this.