My mother’s health is fading fast and my father is enabling it
I’m 42, I live a few states away from my parents. Last year my mom (64) had complications from a shoulder surgery that left her without full use of her right hand. The complications are not permanent but require strict physical therapy and about a year and a half for full recovery. My mother also has severe arthritis.
Well needless to say this ordeal wrecked her mental health. She is it not doing her PT, not taking her meds, not listening to her doctors or her family. As a result, she is severely depressed and has constant panic attacks as well as dehydration and malnourishment. She has been sleeping 2 hours a night for months.
So she is experiencing mass psychosis. I have made countless phone calls to her providers, setting up care, calling aging agencies, everything. She refuses everything and keeps getting worse. To be frank, I don’t think she will be around by Christmas.
My father (62) is her primary caregiver and he is clueless and enables her psychosis. My mother had an appointment (that I begged her to get) with a psychiatrist this week. She canceled at the last minute because the paperwork was too hard and my dad supported her decision.
He doesn’t encourage her to take her meds. In fact they both look up side effects on their phones for each one and encourage each other how bad medicine is. When she spirals he doesn’t help. Today I told my father we have to get her mental healthcare or we need to get her around the clock care for awhile to stabilize her.
He refused to do both. He then tried to guilt trip me “are you gonna put me in a home too!?!?” I don’t know what to do. He loves my mother dearly but he feeds right into her psychosis. I’ve already made a million phone calls and they still don’t listen to ANYTHING.
I’m at a loss man.