tl/dr: Second sitting with breakthrough dose. Felt good, calming and grounding but not life changing like the first time. Took shrooms a couple of days later. Good trip but quite undramatic considering the dose. Felt good afterwards.
I posted about my first and life changing sitting with Bufo here: https://www.reddit.com/r/bufo/comments/1q0fzfg/trip_report_aftermath_and_thoughts_on_bufo_5meodmt/
Since the first sitting was so life changing I was eager but also anxious for my second sitting. I had planned the second sitting three months after the first one but it got postponed and ended up being four months apart. I wanted to do Bufo again because, like I outlined in my previous post, it took away all my anxiety and made me feel mentally a lot better in almost every way.
About two to three months from the first sitting I started loosing the peace of mind and felt more and more easily irritable. No anxiety but otherwise I was not in a good headspace. I was doing a lot of thinking after my first sitting and many things straightened out but I could not help going into this stressfull mindset. I knew I should do something like meditation and excercise but didn’t really get around to it.
I was super anxious for the second sitting. I don’t really know why because I really wanted to do it but I guess it was so powerful that it just seemed like something serious, which it is, of course. I also tried explaining it too much, which made it an even bigger thing.
We talked for a while with my facilitator and then we just proceeded to the Bufo. The effect was instant and I can’t even remember lying down. I was fully away from my body and ego but can’t really remember anything. When I returned I felt great and I thought about how silly of me it had been to be nervous about it. The trip and the come down was about 30minutes and the whole sitting took less than an hour.
In the following days I felt calm and very good in general. The effect was however nowhere near as profound as the first time. It was definitely worth it and I did get a reset for my mind but not as thorough as I had hoped for. I still feel like I could get easily distracted and irritated, it is just easier to not fall into it. As a comparison, the first month after my first sitting was blissful, I was very calm.
Like I said before, I have been thinking about that I really need to start working on the problems that still persist. So since I didn’t get all I wished for from the second sitting I immediately started adding routines to fix this, like breathing excercises and excercise. Maybe it was Bufo telling me I need to do some of the work myself.
My facilitator told me they like to follow up a Bufo session with mushrooms the next day, or as soon as possible. I decided to try the same and two days after my sitting with Bufo I took 4g of mushrooms (they were a bit weak so I’d say it was equal to about 3-3,5g of normal potency cubes). I tripped alone listening to music and with a mask to cover my eyes. At the peak I could feel my conciousness crumbling but I didn’t go full ego death. I was very calm and it just felt like my mind was accessing another state of conciousness but that there wasn’t anything super big or dramatic about it. I just enjoyed floating at the border of this counciousness. I usually don’t smoke weed while on shrooms but the trip was so calm and I felt great so when I felt I was coming off the peak I had a tiny sip from my dry herb vape. It took me right back into the peak and the synergy was fantastic. I got two more hours of the elevated state of conciousness.
I had some realisations during the trip, the most profound being that I could see my anxiety, stress and bad thoughts manifest as creatures looking a bit like moray eels that were in a cage. I realized that the cage was open but they did not escape and I didn’t feel any negative feelings from seeing this. I realized that they are part of me and they don’t need to be gotten rid of and I should accept them as a part of me. Going forward I now know they won’t escape and don’t need to be feared.
After the Bufo and shroom follow up I’ve been feeling very good and a lot calmer than before but not as much as after the first sitting. I realize I have to do more myself and will be trying to meditate and add other grounding and calming excercises into my daily life.
It has been almost two months since I did this write up. I just ended up not posting it, maybe to see if there would be anything to add. There has been no reactivations or anything to mention really, just life in general. I still haven’t had any anxiety since the first sitting and the second sitting was very calming. It cleared the stressfull state I was in. At the moment I again feel this sort of annoyance building up and I hope I’ll get around to do my third sitting soon. In the mean time I try to do meditation and excercise but allthough I’ve done more than previously I haven’t really built a routine out of it, yet.