Is it normal to still think about hurtful things my partner has said to me?
So for context, I am the one at fault.
I first crossed a boundary of my partner that they've constantly stated they were uncomfortable with. I only stopped after they blew up on me, they said hurtful things to me, and the likes. I understood their pain and I've stopped doing it.
We're doing okay now, but I don't really feel as safe as I used to feel with them before.
I constantly feel like they don't love me anymore when I feel them pull away in the slightest, or when I don't establish my love for them I feel freaked out. I ended up withdrawing excessively in anticipation for the worst, blocking them on everything, ghosting them, then unblocking them after I calmed down. Even when they call my number constantly asking me if I'm okay and them saying they're sorry, it takes awhile for me to calm down.
I don't want to repeat the push-and-pull dynamic, but the mental wound is still fresh on my mind and I feel helpless. Should I just ask them for space until I stop feeling this way?