My mom brought me the wrong outfit for a wedding and I can’t stop spiraling
To start off I just want to say I’m a very happy person in general most of the time. I am very optimistic and a very glass half full person but ever since my mom brought me the wrong outfit I don’t know what is going on with me. I’m 26m and I have ADHD and I’m bipolar and I’ve been medicated for the latter for the last 8 years. A bit of a backstory is I was born in India, grew up in the US, went to college in India and finished my masters last May. Didn’t want a corporate job and ended up back here. Wasn’t working until February when I got my dream job and then realized even that wasn’t really for me, got fired a couple days ago after I took a sick leave for 2 days and didn’t reach out after 3 weeks. Anyways I moved out of my aunts apartment for independence that same month because I couldn’t take living with them anymore.
Fast forward to about 10 days ago when my 2nd cousin was getting married, I love this cousin a lot and his wedding announcement came as a surprise because I was not expecting it one bit. The grooms dad was disabled and when he passed away a couple years ago they tried to steal some land that wasn’t in the will and they got into an argument with the grooms uncle. My family supports the grooms uncle, I do too but I never really got involved in that side of the family matters. My mom and 2 aunts only came to keep up appearances while I genuinely was excited about the wedding hence I went a day before. I was in a different city than my mom and another aunt and the wedding was in a different city too. All I asked my mom to do was bring me a (kurta) specific outfit that I knew would fit me. I knew the other 2 kurtas I had were too tight on me hence why I asked for this. Now if I knew she wasn’t bringing this I would’ve bought another one but did she give me that opportunity, no. I find out that she brought the wrong one when the wedding already started. Left with no choice I wore it and even though I knew I wasn’t comfortable wearing it, I did it as there was no other option. Like 10 mins later I was speaking with the grooms younger brother and a few of his friends and he said this kurta is a little tight on you, no? This is where I absolutely lost it and didn’t even wanna go anymore. I came back to my room to cry after god knows how long and then my aunt told me to come. I went back to my mom’s room and said either I could go or you could go but the both of us can’t be there. I went and she came after dinner. I have barely spoken to her since.
We also went to another city to see family after the wedding and I was super excited about this trip because I’d never been to this place before but this outfit incident just caused me so much emotional distress I couldn’t even enjoy it there. I spoke with my mom there and I asked her why she brought the wrong outfit and she said I thought you’d look better in this one. When I asked why she didn’t do what I asked she just had no response but to say she was sorry. Just looking at my mom and one of my aunts pissed me off enough for me to take a flight back to my city. Since the past 10 days I haven’t spoken to my mom except today because today was my dads death anniversary and I had to do a pooja which is a ritual to make sure they have a pleasant afterlife. Now I was never close with my dad, we barely ever spoke except for a couple months before his death and I never really think about him either but when we went to that new city I told everyone there why should I care if my dad is dead, my uncle was more of a father than my dad ever was. All my dad ever did was buy me anything I ever wanted and spoiled me, only now am I realizing this was his way of showing me love because he couldn’t spend time with me or play sports with me etc.
Today is my cousins birthday too and I didn’t want to go either even telling him that I couldn’t make it and now I’m thinking it’s better if I do go. I also spoke with him about starting therapy and he gave me some solid resources. Ever since this happened I’ve cried countless times when I’ve went years and years without crying in the past. All the emotions are flowing out of me and I can’t stop and I’m not sure how to handle this situation and how to come out of it. I told my mom I wouldn’t talk with her for 2 weeks and it’s been a week and I’m thinking about not talking with her until I come back from a concert on the 24th of this month. I can’t talk about my feelings with my family which is why I’m putting it out here to vent and hear opinions and any advice.