Sorry if this is a mess but I have to get it out. My boyfriend doesn’t listen to anything I say and he doesn’t even try to communicate with me. When we talk and I’m expressing my feelings, he goes quiet on me and says nothing even when I’m practically begging him to say anything. When we’re having a conversation and the topic is about something he did wrong, he gets defensive or shuts down or just tries to end the convo by agreeing. When we talk about things, he won’t trust my word when I say something and then way down the line he’ll bring up how I said or did something in a way, and when I explain how i didn’t and literally told him in the moment, he’ll say stuff like “well how was I supposed to feel?”- I TOLD YOU! over and over! and you told me you understood!
And don’t get me started on boundaries. I know this is a touchy topic for lots, but when it comes to following the opposite gender on social media I’m on the side of it being too normalized of a thing for something that wasn’t ever really a thing. People were never always this connected like they were before. He’s following sooo many girls he doesn’t even need to be following. In particular, he’s following two girls he actually has a bit of a history with, girls he’s flirted with and mutually shown interest with and even got physical with. He REFUSES to understand why I would be uncomfortable with him still being connected to them. He’s openly admitted in the past he is just worried what they or his friends would think so it’s nothing about him. Like I said I know some people understand this, some don’t. Regardless, in the same breath he’s saying social media and whatnot doesn’t matter, an it’s not a big deal to follow someone, he’s saying that he doesn’t want to unfollow them. Oh, and it’s worth mentioning that I have a huge problem with this because he didn’t admit to me after we started dating that he had a history of hooking up with a girl who harassed me for months on end at the place we work together.
. I’m just feeling so empty because I do so much for him, always listen to his feelings, his boundaries, and all I do is get spit on in return. He doesn’t listen to me in conversations. He makes absolutely no attempt or progress. And this isn’t your usual story of a boyfriend being super negligent emotionally and in general. Outside of our communication he is amazing. We get along amazing. We have the same humour and hobbies and interest. Our sex life is amazing. We see each other a good amount and we enjoy each others company. There’s a very strong romantic connection and he’s so supportive and uplifting. It’s just the second there’s conflict it’s done. He thinks only for himself and his own feelings. He doesn’t listen to me and doesn’t consider my feelings or boundaries or things I’m uncomfortable with. I’m just so fucking depressed about it.