I‘m starting to think that I was acting dramatic….
So I truly hope that none of the people that were involved in the situation or in my life at all will see this post but I just want and actually need honest opinions from people for this situation.
So what happened is that in late middle school, my class got a new teacher for a subject.
I wasn‘t sitting in the first row of the class but rather in the middle of the classroom, at the side of the second row.
Already in the first lesson I had with that teacher he came to my seat and sat down on MY desk. He came really near to my face and asked where I was from and if I was born in this country. I told him that I was actually born here and also where I am from. He became all jolly and stuff from then on (when he heard that I was born in this country). The rest of the year he always came to my seat and sat down on my desk, while I was sitting infront of it or he would get himself a chair and sit down next to me and do his class (I mean teach) while sitting next to me. He would always come extremely near to my face or even touch me sometimes.
It did feel very weird because none of my other teachers had ever done that. None of the teachers I ever had in my entire life would ask me in the first ever lesson with them where I was from or where I was born and they definitely never took a chair and sat down next to me or on my desk while teaching. And he would always ask me questions while sitting next to me and make me do most of the class…and even though I did answer the questions and participated, he never gave me a better grade than a c for my participation and other students (who were btw NOT immigrants but rather already ethincally from this country) A‘s even though they didn‘t say half as much as I did.
While telling this aspect of his behaviour, I sant to clarify some things…even though I was raised bilingual I am MUCH more secure in my second language and I DO NOT have an accent and can articulate myself in my second language very well. I even have a B in this language in school and almost always did, so don‘t even try to come for me with all that quality of my participation or wrong answers because I didn‘t do neither of those. Especially not in this subject.
Moving one with the subject of this post, I even changed my seat throughout the year to a place where I thought he could not come as near to me because like I said, I thought that it was weird from the beginning on and it only got worse and worse with time…I felt so uncomfortable that I switched seats…but that didn‘t stop him. He came near me despite multiple seat changes and it was mostly me. I am not even exaggerating when I say that he almost always sag down next to me or came near my face eben when I backed off or turned away. The distance that was between us sometimes was the kind of distance that you see in movies and everyone starts assuming the‘re about to kiss. I’m not even joking…And I‘m not comparing these two things bcs I want to say that it was romantic but ACTUALLY HORRIBLE!! I HATED IT. HE IS NOT A YOUNG TEACHER WHO WANTED TO BE COOL WITH HIS STUDENTS…HE IS OLDDDD!!! SO EFFING OLD 😭!!
I felt like a fool infront of the whole class bcs firstly sometimes his questions weren‘t appropriate and felt like he only asked them to humiliate me (btw when I didn‘t want to answer them he would just come nearer and nearer and push and push even further and become even more uncomfortable with his actions and his words). And secondly bcs it was always me that he was going to and getting near to and he always made a joke about these things…but it didn‘t feel like a joke. It felt devastating to me. But almost no one cared and just laughed about it.
Up to that grade I never skipped school just bcs I didn‘t want to go but when he became my teacher that changed. He was acting so weird every single lesson that I actually couldn‘t take it any longer and started skipping his lessons.
About his questions again…there was one question which he asked me probably a thousand times, which was what the job of my father is. But firstly, he already knew that bcs he was also my older brother‘s teacher before me and I KNOW that he asked him that question and talked about it in class. So it felt weird that he asked me this over and over again infrotn of everyone (to calrify this a bit further…mistly all of the students in that class came from rich academic families and my dad couldn‘t get his university degree from his homecountry verified here so he started a different job and I knew that that teacher had already known about his job and still did that and always went on about alkibg about it for sooo long.
So I think the next important point is that in the end of the schoolyear when we all received our report cards, ALL of the students that were not born in this country failed his class…I mean they got an F on their report cards for this subject. And slme of them were actually really good in school. He didn‘t care. He failed them all and one of my friends even switched schools because of that because she wanted a good graduation report card in the end of highschool and that teacher scared her so much (it was her first year at my school bcs she came to iur school after moving here).
The next year (first year of highschool) was even worse.
That old old man became my teacher for that exact subject again and his behaviour worsened.
I want to add that I am usually more of a quiest student or definitely was…I am becoming more active in many classes now but back then I was usually not that loud (with exeption for his class bcs he highkey made me lead it by only talking to me).
And sadly I have to admit one good thing which came out of all of this…bcs in the second year his behaviour worsened and he allowed HIMSELF to come even closer to me than he did before, I dtarted talking louder so he would keep more distance. But he didn‘t. He did not care. He knew that I didn‘t want to cause trouble and stay quiet and not cause a scene so he became more and more brave with his actions. In comparison to the yesr begore he would not only come closer to my face but also touch my shoulder while doing that. He wokld not only sit down next to me somehow even if I was sitting i. The middle of the row, he sould also make our legs touch by leaving no space for me to go. He even sat down next to me during one of the exams when I just needed a short answer to a misunderstandkng in the task and he could have just answered quickly. I know that sometimes teachers sit down next to students while explaining something and I know that‘s normal and valid and OKAY…BUT he did not do that in a normal tescher‘s way. Everytime a teacher sat down next to me, it was like a rare thing and ghey only did it if they had already known me well and wanted to explain something to me which I maybe didn‘t understand and wasn‘t kmorotant for the whole class…you all know what K mean right? That beahviour they give to ALL students…just that normla teacher thing. But he was not like that. He did it from the beginning on in such an unnecessary and harassing way.
Especially in that exam in the second year…he did not only sit down, he left no space for me to leave again, he touched my leg with his leg again, he lowkey dtroked my hair after anwering that question and took a hair off of my hoodie, which he did not need to do. He even touch my neck while gokng through my hair and HE SMILED AT ME AND WAS SO CLOSE!! 😖
I FELT LIKE VOMITING! 🤮 I COULD NOT PROPERLY CONENCTRATE AFTER THAT BUT NOT BCS I WSS INTO HIM OR ANYTHING, IT WAS JUST THE MOSH ABNORMAL INCIDENT I HAVE EVER ENCOUNTERED WITH A TEACHER! A teacher…he is a man who graduated, went to university, has plenty of life experience and he thinks it‘s okay for hlm to act like this?
I started skipping his classes more often even though I really liked the subject. I actually like that subject so much bruh. He ruined it for me so bad :((.
One time for a school trip in his class I wanted to skip it again but it went for the whole day and I needed a doctors check to not go but I wasn’t sick and I did look forward to spending the day with some of my friends in that city so I had to go.
Bcs I had skipped so many of his classes before that trip, he wanted to talk to me about smth and instead of looking for a fitting moment HE DID IT IN THE BUS KN THE WORST WAY POSSIBLE. We were in a big city and the busses there are often full. But my friend saved me a seat next to her and when I wanted to go he out his arm on the „wall“ (idk what it‘s called in the bus) in front of me to stop me from going to her and leaned down on me AND SMILED UGHHHHHHH 🤮🤮🤮. He came so close to my face again I felt like I was teleported into a korean drama and he was my the loving boyfriend except he is not the loving boyfriend but rather an old pervert white ahh man who had been ahrassing and discriminsting me for almost two years. So sctually it was not so much a korean drama but rather a criminal mystery case which needed to be solved and the perpetrator that needed to be exposed.
So yeah my friends/classmates later consoled me again like they did sometimes after he acted like that but I still felt uncomfortable.
He once even indicated touching my boob in class when he was talking about how teachers cannnot be fired and I said what about assault and then he dod that and it was horrible and felt disgusting.
So nevertheless he was always cracking jokes and acting like mr funnyman so no one ever really did anything to stop him and just laughed about it except for some of the incidents. But staring at me didn‘t feel much better honestly.
But after the last year was over I thought I was free and I could finally have the change for a new teacher in that subject…AND I WAS RIGHT 🥳🥳 my prayers actually went true but he became my teacher in another subject.
In that subject he just continued with his behaviour further and expanded his harassment to some time after class. When I wanted to leave he almost came running to my seat and stopping me and holding me and stuff…the story is so much longer and I left some things out but I just want to say in the end I did decide to go to another teacher and tell her about everything. He did get in some trouble and has left me alone ever since but sometimes I can‘t help bu feel guilty and bad about telling the teacher and having him reported to the principal. I did not want to cause a scene but in the end I sadly did…going through the hallway and seeing the students öaugh with him in class makes me feel like I made everything too dramatic but on the other side (which I have not written here) is that especially in the beginning of this year I did tell him that I wanted him tos top behaving like that towards me bcs it made me uncomfortable but the way he responded to me always was just disrespectful on another level…if this post is seen by some people and not going completely lost then maybe I will write it here still to clarify the story more but if no one sees this then there is no need for it I think, if no one gives an opinion anyway.