I wish I am brave enough to approach a stranger and ask if she is open to go clubbing together. I genuinely love heavy bass music, being part of a mass that is pulsing with the beat.
And let's not beat around the bush, it's even better if it's with someone we find attractive too.
I'm amazed by how some people just shoot their shot. Maybe they don't overthink it or they are just that confident in themselves. They shoot their shot and laugh it off if it doesn't work.
With how life is now, I just assume the worst answer often ends up keeping to myself. Life is lonely and I feel like I cant experience the kind of freedom to be in the moment.
I always imagined as us flirting back and forth as the night goes on. when we are tired, we get out of the club, get a drink, sit by the river and just talk. Introduce ourselves and share about how life is. At this point in time, it's just a space to feel heard and be heard.
Then we can each go back home and that's all there is to it. No expectation to make out, sleep together or whatever that makes the whole thing so much more complicated. It's just a moment to feel loose, let go and be human
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But then there are always good reasons to be cautious. Maybe she will be scared that I am a bad person. Am I making it an unsafe place to begin with when I approach? What if she is afraid of me pushing boundaries? How can I reassure her? What if there is a misunderstand? What if things go wrong?
Too much "what-ifs" and I end up staying home instead. Watch YouTube. Play a game. Maybe hit the gym if I want to feel like I did something. I still end up lonely at the end of the day.
Life sucks. Wish I stop overthinking everything.
I am just feeling all these now coz I was at dhoby ghaut. Seeing how everyone is makes me envious and these thoughts are eating me up alive. I vent all these out to feel better, and also to see if anyone else understands what I'm going through.
Maybe there is something I can do to be better. Maybe other people with this experience now feel less lonely because they learn of one more person out there feeling the same way too.
It's been a long day. Rest well yall