▲ 5 r/trukarmafarm
help me boost my karma , need for some subreddit
u/Forward_Shallot5871 — 8 days ago
u/Forward_Shallot5871
Pata hai aaj kya hua ??
old contexts
this is the post she was pissed
I want completely neutral opinions on this situation because right now both sides think the other person is the villain.
Me (19M), her (19F).
Context from around 2 months ago:
We were in a relationship and things slowly started getting worse because of communication issues. I felt ignored a lot, while she felt I was becoming insecure and emotionally intense.
One of our biggest fights started when we talked about revealing clothes. My stance was basically:
“You can wear what you want, I’m not stopping you. But I would still feel insecure sometimes because obviously other men sexualize those things.”
Instead of communicating it maturely, I got emotional and said some stupid generalized things in anger like girls wear revealing clothes for attention. I regret saying that because it’s obviously not universally true.
But at the same time, what hurt me was that I was trying to express insecurity, not control her completely. I wanted reassurance, not a war.
After that, things became worse:
- I felt like she ignored my feelings.
- She felt I was toxic/insecure.
- Every serious conversation became either crying, anger, or avoidance instead of actual communication.
Fast forward to yesterday.
I sent her a long message explaining my feelings and boundaries. Instead of first discussing it privately with me, she posted my message on Reddit for opinions without giving full relationship context.
These were the posts:
That honestly shattered my trust more than the argument itself.
What made things worse is that whenever I tried having difficult conversations:
- she often involved friends/Reddit before properly talking to me,
- while I became more emotionally reactive because I felt unheard.
So yes, I admit:
- I became insecure,
- emotionally dependent,
- and sometimes communicated badly.
- i called her crying "acting" yesterday
But I also feel:
- she avoided direct communication,
- sought outside validation during conflicts,
- and emotionally checked out long before the breakup.
- started getting angry crying when it was about my feelings
Eventually I broke up because the relationship started affecting my mental state and exams badly.
I’m not trying to portray her as evil. I genuinely think both of us handled things immaturely in different ways.
So honest views on :
- op is controlling.
- she was wrong for publicly posting private relationship conversations before discussing them properly.
- we were simply incompatible and emotionally immature.
Also, practical advice on moving on would help.
my old post :
my msg what i sent er yesterday
"Nahi karni is baare mein baat tumhe okay mat karo. But ek baat main clearly bata de raha hoon.I will not like it if you wear whatever you want. I want you to dress modestly. By saying this, I am not controlling you. I am just telling you my preference. If you respect me enough, you will understand. I don’t think there’s anything wrong in this. Covering your body — at least the parts you are 100% aware are sexually attractive to the opposite gender — is maturity, not insecurity or jealousy. You already know the consequences, but you still choose to do it. Saying “everyone does it” is just an excuse. There is nothing cute in revealing body parts that are involved in sexual attractiveness. If you are single and want to attract the best man possible, you can do whatever you want. But when you are in a relationship, it becomes your responsibility to not attract unwanted attention. This is not controlling — this is understanding, setting boundaries, maturity, and respect for your partner In a relationship, both people have to sacrifice certain things. But why is it that when boys do it, it’s called “bare minimum,” and when we expect the same from girls, it suddenly becomes toxic and insecure?Anyways, jitna kehna tha, keh diya.."
mae this thread a genuine one, not targeting someone , or hating me or her , ( mujhko kar skte ab aadat ho gayi hai)
u/Forward_Shallot5871 — 8 days ago