I’ve been friends with this guy since high school and we’re well into our twenties now. Lately he’s started this thing that has me very very agitated and I want opinions if I’m being hard to deal with/dramatic or if I’m justified because he’ll invite me over or agree to hang out with me then either vanish as soon as I arrive or cancel at the very last minute AFTER I’ve altered my plans.
For example not so long ago he said “hey man, grab a pizza on your way back from work and bring it over and we’ll watch a movie, drink a couple beers and eat the pizza” sounded like a good time to me. So I got the pizza and got to his house and suddenly he wouldn’t answer his phone or come to the door. Then he texted me at 2 am that night to say “sorry man I had taken a nap and was still sleeping when you came by.” I get the nap.. but why can’t he set an alarm when we’ve set a time and agreed to hang out??
So I had ended up just eating the pizza by myself and going home that night. Whatever. I let it go and didn’t say a word.
Then the next time we agree to hang out and I text him to confirm and he texts me at the last minute and says “sorry I’m still on the golf course with my friends. Don’t try to stop by.”
This is just the last two times that come to mind, but there’s been other times before now that I can’t remember as explicitly. He literally said recently one of the times we talked “I feel like we’re becoming more distant man”
I’m just annoyed and now I do feel like putting distance down. I know in the big scheme it’s not a huge deal, but to me someone else’s time matters and respect matters. When you agree to hang out with someone and they agree as well, you are taking up their time and giving them your word. When you vanish, cancel repeatedly at the last minute, etc it’s disrespectful in my mind of that person’s time and it’s not really valuing the friendship in my mind