looking for a bit of perspective or advice here.
We are currently no contact with my MIL. i am trying to understand, would appreciate outside perspective as since i have brought this up with my MIL she has acted so indignant that i am genuinely questioning myself like- have i overreacted
the thing is, my (now) fiance and i were together about six months when i fell pregnant. It wasn’t planned, we panicked for a little bit and told everyone wayyyy too soon, but ultimately we had our baby and life has been blissful (sans my horrid in-laws), we r coming up to our second anniversary soon, we are young but we still finished our studies, got a family car, blahblah- we’re doing fine.
But for the last 18 months my in-laws (mostly MIL) :
questioned the baby’s paternity repeatedly throughout my pregnancy- since they “didn’t know” me they said they had the right to know my history as i could have been seeing anyone, i wasn’t and hadnt dated for like a year before meeting fiancé, my father had also passed away weeks before we met, so i wasn’t really interested in dating anyone we spent like 5 months genuinely just DATING, but even if i was seeing half the town, the fact they don’t believe their own son when he says he is SURE this baby is his?
made jokes about the baby’s paternity when i was like weeks post partum, this was deeply hurtful and personal she said something like “well we KNOW he is (OP)’s son, we aren’t too sure if he’s (Fiance)’s son,” like… was that supposed to be funny?
posted the baby without my permission and then took them down once i reported them
wanted alone time with the baby when he was freshly newborn to “help” me, but wouldn’t give him back when he cried, and wouldn’t settle for coming over to see him - she HAD to have him at her house, this eventually stopped when i realised she wasn’t putting him down for naps or burping him so he’d come home and purple cry for hours from overtiredness and colic, because he had been treated like a damn photo prop all day
let the dog lick him, after asking to keep the dog away she sends me a video of the dog on the floor inches away from my baby’s face (a family member of mine was attacked by a dog as a child and has a nasty scar even as an adult- so i just don’t trust ANY animal with kids, nothing against animals i just dont trust them)
when i finally brought this all up to her her sorry excuses were:
“well i could apologise but nothing will change as you just seem to think im a bad person”
“sorry to hear the paternity joke hurt you but we didnt know you, so how could we know you werent seeing someone else?”
“you must have forgotten me asking you for permission to post the photos” (she absolutely did not lol)
“i mean, do you not trust me to look after my grandson and keep him safe? i practically have to lock the dog up in case you get mad” (she doesn’t lock the dog up, but yes i would prefer it was in a different room if the baby is playing on the floor with his toys)
i mean, could it actually be im being unreasonable?? im beginning to feel gaslit honestly