This trauma might end me
I was SAed when i was 6. it happened thrice and 2 of 3 happened on the same day. to cut this story short, he died when i was 11 i think. I didn’t cry in his funeral because my only concern was them finding out his dark secrets in the ‘diary’ he left behind. (for context, he k worded himself).
I was so young and now that im 18, im forced to deal with this emotional trauma he left me. I am 18 but i act childish, i realized that maybe it’s because i had to grow up early because of what he did. he was a priest. A PRIEST who was always surrounded by children. Thinking about the fact that there might be other victims makes me sad but thats not what im gonna talk about today.
The trauma never left. I get serious breakdowns atleast twice a month because of this. Thinking that at some point in my life, i will lose my shit and end it all because of this. Only my sister in law knows about what happened and 2 of my friends who experienced something similar and knows how hard it is.
I honestly dont know whats th epoint of this message. maybe this is my cry for help because i seriously dont know what to do. It’s affecting me now that i am adulting. It’s taking over my mind and I badly want to get therapy for this so i can live normally but i dont think i am ready.
one this im pissed off is that he took the easy way out but im glad hes dead and i hope i can move forward in life.