Trying to understand my breakup without romanticising it.
My ex (M, 40) and I (F, 31) broke up recently and I’m struggling to understand what to make of it.
We were very deeply connected. He told me he loved me, that what we had was real, and that he’d never felt this way about anyone before. We had plans to get married, blend our families and buy a home together. But out of the blue, he said that right now he doesn’t want a relationship. He was very honest about it; he said he could’ve strung me along because he knew I probably would’ve let him, but he didn’t want to do that to me.
What confuses me is that he also said he hopes he won’t always feel this way about relationships forever. Since the breakup we’ve still been talking occasionally. The vibe between us is still warm/playful/caring. He sends me things that feel emotionally meaningful sometimes, and when we talk it still feels very “us”.
Part of me feels like maybe this is genuinely just bad timing and he needs space to figure himself out. Another part of me worries I’m romanticising things and holding onto hope that will stop me moving forward.
Have any of you had a situation where someone genuinely loved you but still couldn’t be in a relationship at that time? Did they come back later? Or is this usually something people say when they care about you but ultimately know it’s over?
I’m trying to be realistic while also not dismissing something that felt very real to both of us. I’ll give him all the space he needs. I miss him and don’t want this to be over.