My husband (38m) and I (35f) have been together for 11 years. He knows I like to make a big deal about my bday. Everyone that knows me jokes that my bday lasts a week long. It's not just my own bday though, I always make an effort for all of my friends and families bdays, even when they don't care. For my husband's bday last year I planned a really extensive road trip, balled out on a beautiful treehouse cabin in the mountains, took him to a small town that he had wanted to visit a friend at, etc. This year I told him I didn't want to be involved in all the planning logistics and asked him to just figure something out, but I did give a couple examples of something fun/unique and told him a few people I would like to see.
Cut to, today is my birthday, and I'm starting to get stressed because two of the people closest to me are asking me if i'm doing anything, so obviously they haven't been invited to anything. I ask my husband who he invited, and he tells me he didn't invite anyone to anything. So now I'm trying not to fly off the handle (in case it is just a surprise and he is messing with me) so I ask him to please just seriously tell me if he really didn't plan anything for my birthday, so I don't get upset. He tells me "we can rally" something real quick. Also, we are having this conversation over broken text while he is at work because he didn't take the day off (which is not a big deal, but I always take the day off for his birthday). He also asked me yesterday if there was anything I wanted as a bday gift, so Im assuming he didn't get me anything either.
So now I'm alone cleaning the house on my birthday, and I'm honestly trying so hard not to be a birthday brat about this, but I'm really fuming, to the point where I know I'm going to cry when he gets home. I get that if I wanted something I should have asked for it, but isn't the whole point of a gift/party to show you thought about someone without specifically being instructed to do so? It's not like he put the thought in and I just didn't like it, it feels like he didn't put any thought in at all.
Edit: I'm not upset that he didn't take the day off work or that he didn't throw "a big bash". I just expected something, considering it seemed like it was on his radar far in advance (also because I think it's pretty normal to celebrate your spouse's bday). A lot of people are asking what he's done in the past. Often something comes up in advance that we decide to do "for my bday", like a concert or convention, but in the years that we haven't had anything specific I've just invited friends over to our house.
Edit: yes, he also makes a big deal about his birthday, and has gotten upset in the past if he felt like no one cared about it or if he had to work on his bday.
Edit: I don't know how so many people misinterpreted the week-long bday thing. I wasn't saying I expect my loved ones to celebrate my birthday for a week. I was showing that it is common knowledge I am not one of those "I don't care about my birthday" people, because I do fun stuff "for my bday week" every year (aforementioned concerts, trips, etc.).
Edit: the examples I gave him were "go to the movies with some people", "go to an arcade", or "have a gathering at someone's house". I never implied I wanted to go on a trip or anything expensive. When he got off work and I explained that I expected him to have planned something he asked me if I wanted him to try to invite some people to something now.