u/Forsaken-Estate4041

u/BubblySunflowers thank you for the lovely coffee exchange! I hope your husband gets to try the Cafe du Monde frozen cafe au lait some day, it's sooooo good. We usually get a hot to dip beignets in and a frozen to share. The LouPaper coffee card is so cute!

u/andyismean (I hope I have the right username) Thank you for the Valentine's exchange! I love the vintage cupids. Don't worry about being late, we all have things that get in the way in life sometimes :)

u/Mental-Muscle2533 thank you for sharing Charles with me. I hope that the act of sharing him with your mail community is healing for your grief. Soul cats never leave our hearts, especially the ones who help us grow through the hard stages in life.

u/DisasterAdult thank you for the gorgeous card!! I hope things are doing better for you. French Quarter Festival was SO much good food, followed by Jazz Fest, so my little foodie heart (and stomach) is very happy

u/TyeDyeAmish it continues to amaze me what a wide berth of postcards you have. I always get excited to see you in my Informed Delivery and see what postcard is next. No waterfalls here anymore, but I used to hide in the woods by one during undergrad because it was right by campus in a large city and it felt like a little piece of home

u/TyeDyeAmish I love the cat postcard! I had a poster with the Soft Kitty song on it in my freshman dorm. (that was also back in peak Big Bang Theory years)

u/CrystalMoth thank you for the vintage Minnesota postcard. I miss home a lot! I used to live pretty close to the North Shore and grew up going to Superior/Duluth almost every weekend (even during the Winter)

u/SignalWriting8859 Thank you for the Kokopelli postcard! I loved hearing about your experience with Creeping Death! it's awesome to be able to connect with our favorite musicians.

u/Guava_dog omg, this literally brought me to tears. I'm so glad that you were touched by the card that I sent. I hope life treats you well. I just bought more Andrea Gibson chapbooks and although they are gone from the world, I believe that they continue to give us hope and love.

food: Patton's combo: oyster pattie, crawfish sack, and shrimp beignets - aka the girl dinner that haunts my dreams

When I was 19(NB, femme; identified as a woman back then) I started "dating" a 26M veteran "Jake" with major PTSD issues. He was abusive and an alcoholic and my first time having sex with someone besides my HS sweetheart (19M).

After 2.5 years, we had a messy breakup and I found out I was pregnant and it was his. At that time, I was 21 and had gotten involved with a different abusive older man (31) "Doug" and he forced an abortion. Jake blamed me and mourned the loss of "Bella" / "Isabella" including naming the "baby" and telling me repeatedly that I had ruined his chances to ever have children because I was the one and only person he could ever imagine having kids with and I'd "broken his trust by aborting our miracle" and he could never forgive me. It's ultimately what finally broke an on/off cycle of abuse.

Now I'm (31NB femme) and happily married to 33M and we're definitely not in a life stage to be having kids. I have been diagnosed with multiple chronic illnesses and infertility and ultimately decided to get my tubes tied because a pregnancy could kill me (and almost did a few months before surgery). I'm also unsure with the debilitating and degenerative nature of my illnesses if kids are a good idea. I'm also adopted and was adopted by older parents with a mom who had degenerative illnesses and was essentially only adopted as a caregiver.

Now Jake (38M) is married to "Anna" (32F) and they got pregnant on their wedding night. She announced this on her public Instagram (she's an actress) and they're having a daughter and naming her Isabella, but calling her Bella. Same name.

I'm just really f-ing upset that he gets to have a DAUGHTER and name her the same name. And build this beautiful life with his wife with THE DOG WE ADOPTED. And I'm maybe never going to get to have kids. Partially as a result of complications from the forced abortion resulting in surgery. I've got severe PTSD from the relationship with him and it made it really hard to trust any romantic or sexual partner for almost a decade.

Clarifying points: I'm very happy in my marriage and it's much healthier and my spouse is totally fine with whatever outcome kids/no kids and he was aware before we got married.

What I'm upset about is that he seemingly has seen no real repercussion for his abuse including SA. And I'm honestly worried about his ability to safely and healthily raise a daughter. Especially when he's naming her the same name and was still sliding into my DMs during their engagement in 2024 (he switched numbers and I had to block the new number)

I believe in reproductive justice and the ability to access safe abortion. My experiences make this even more of a core value, not less.

I didn't go looking for this info. An old friend screenshotted his wife's profile and their wedding website and sent it to me and I wish they hadn't. I told the friend I didn't want any more info and blocked the wife's profile on Instagram so I can't look at it.

Yes, I'm talking about this in therapy. I wanted a little internet rant.

ETA: I guess I'm also really upset about my friend sending me all of this because I've tried really hard to move on from all of it. >!He stalked me for a few years after we broke up!< and I've been vigilant about blocking him on everything (like LinkedIn and Venmo) and didn't know I needed to block the wife because I didn't know she existed.

[thank you] for filling my empty mailbox