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I know it sounds unbelievable—like, how did I not know? The truth is more convoluted. She has had this friend that we were both close to and even worked with in our past lives. In the 2010s, they started hanging out. She would go to his house on Saturdays and cook for him and his kids. They’d do movie nights, can pickles, garden, etc.
They then started going on trips together—mostly wilderness camping trips. They went to Key West, Yellowstone, Red Rocks, Isle Royale (that secluded island in the middle of Lake Michigan), and some state park in Ohio to camp.
I wasn’t much of a camper, so I didn’t go. Plus, in the 2010s I was pretty sick. I was basically fighting to survive and went through long periods where I couldn’t do much. Because of that, I actually felt grateful to her friend—I wasn’t much fun to be around back then.
Thankfully, I’ve recovered and I’m doing well now. But things started feeling weird during the trip to Isle Royale. It’s extremely secluded, and that’s when I became suspicious. The Key West trip also felt off to me.
A year after the Key West trip, I finally went through her phone. I found text messages to him like “I love you,” “I miss you,” “I know you’re sleeping but I’m thinking about you tonight,” and “The Saturdays we spent in Michigan were some of the best times of my life.” She even sent him a boob pic.
That made it real for me. There was a lot more—tons of “I love yous” and other romantic-style texting. She even sent him 2000 dollars for some sort of legal mess he got involved in.
When I confronted her, she said he’s basically like a brother to her and that I was wrong for assuming it was an affair.
We now live in Montana. In the four years we’ve been here, he’s only been to the house once. But apparently he’s coming out next month to stay for a week, and they’ll likely go camping again.
Other than this “best friend” situation, she’s been the most wonderful woman. But I’m getting ready to leave her. She did say she'd cut him loose and do what it takes to make it right. But, all I wanted was an acknowledgement that the affair took place.