u/FormalCatFish

We have these long railway ties (I think that’s what they’re called?) on our parking lot causing a ton of silt build-up. Raleigh Rainwater suggested removing them to help manage stormwater runoff better, but I have no clue how to go about doing that or what sort of business to contact for that. (Landscaping? Handyman? Some other sort of contractor?) Complicating removal, I’m guessing there might be rebar anchoring the wood into place.

Any suggestions for reliable and affordable removal would be appreciated!

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION: Appreciate the comments so far with the tools needed to do the job, but unfortunately I have several underlying conditions and can’t do the labor myself and my husband is currently recovering from surgery. We really do need to hire someone to come in to do the work for us.

Image descriptions:

First picture shows a wood bar dividing the edge of the parking lot from the grass with mud build-up.

Second picture shows closer up the wood divider and the silt build-up on the parking lot pavement.

(Please be kind, am currently going through a lot emotionally right now.)

I'm not sure how to explain this situation, so I'll try to break it down clearly.

I've never been comfortable with my English name or my Hebrew name. (My Hebrew name includes my English name.) Neither name has ever felt like me, but I've never exactly been able to pinpoint why. Or even what other names might resonate better. They've just always subtly felt wrong.

Recently, I moved far away from my biological family. Got a new therapist. Having been working out some stuff. It's been tough, but manageable. Then March happened. My husband got injured and needed surgery. My cat got really sick and I almost lost her. Finances got desperate. And still, we were expected to make the trek back to my parents' house for Passover.

The visit was bad. Surviving that and coming home nearly broke me. But since then, unpacking everything that's happened (before the visit, during, after, as well as long-standing patterns and behaviors that have shaped my life), I've been learning a lot about family dynamics (especially glass child syndrome), emotional neglect, and (most recently) being raised by a narcissist parent.

That last bit is the important bit. For whatever reason, I only recently learned my parents' Hebrew names.

My mother named me after herself.

Both my English name and my Hebrew name come from her Hebrew name.

I am so massively uncomfortable and upset about this. And I don't know what to do about it.

First, based on our traditions, knowing I was named after a living person just feels so wrong. Then there's the fact that my name(s) feel like a vanity stamp. (And to be honest, it's not just me. In various ways, some more subversive than others, she named all of her children after herself.)

I don't know what to do. I'm multiple decades old. The thought of changing my English name (and all the accompanying paperwork) is overwhelming. Plus, like I said, I've never had a replacement name in mind. As for my Hebrew name, there's an incoming new rabbi to my synagogue, but they don't start for a few months. I don't even know if or how one goes about changing their Hebrew names.

And, of course, if I do go ahead with any name changes, there will be the pushback. The guilt trips. The emotional manipulation. I will be cast as the villain. Whatever I do or don't do, I can't win.

I feel trapped and alone. I don't know what to do or where to start.

Any advice, encouragement, or suggestions are welcome.

Silt/Erosion Control Help