u/Formal-Rutabaga176

How to leave friends group.

I(16m) want to leave my friends group. Basically it was a childhood group. And i feel like it is a toxic group and i don't feel good with them. And now there are 2 problems which I am facing.

  1. They have a lot of my private photos (not nude but very embarrassing which I feel insecure about).

  2. My cousin brother is also present in the group which makes it more tough to get out of the group.

Now tell me ways to cut off these people without any risks for me.

And i am from india

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u/Formal-Rutabaga176 — 3 days ago
▲ 4 r/PataHaiAajKyaHua+1 crossposts

I(16m) was just scrolling in snapchat and saw my friends hanging out without me. First i saw a few random snaps of different places and I tried to think that it was just a normal snap but the latest one was all of them playing snooker without me . And it is not that they don't call me. But from the last few months i wasn't able to hangout a lot because of work. And today they went to hangout in a friend's house then went to play. I had my class today but it was from 7 to 9pm and they were sitting there from around 4 pm or 5pm . And didn't even call me once. And i am feeling very sad and angry at the same time . And i am thinking of confronting them also. But don't know will i .

Pata hai aaj kya hua.

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u/Formal-Rutabaga176 — 5 days ago

So my friends group was basically created in my childhood. And i was one of the starting member of the group . We were 4 people. But after lockdown one member left the group and cut all connections and i also left the group bcz of some personal issues. Now I rejoined the group after 3 years with new people. Main or the leader members were my cousin brother, one old member from the main group and other 2 were new . Let's call then A and Y. I was close to them like super close. We three used to hangout alot. And during that time I was a simple kid who thinks gali is bad. They made me like them which was ok and they asked me to do things like creating moaning sounds and took its video. Then they used to take my bad photos alot. Me being dumbass I never stood for myself. Then came the first boiling incident . During one class I was taking a chair and was about to sit and then A pulled my chair from the back and a whole class of 70 people saw it. And sir came and scolded me and made me sit in the front bench . And after the class I didn't stop there and went to the home without talking and ignored all the calls from them. I should have cut the friendship at that time only but didn't. After going to the home from a separate route i reached home and they all came to apologise and that time I was trying to get to home as fast as I could but the door was locked. And for some time I didn't talk to them alot and maintained a distance. Then everything came back to normal. Then the 2nd incident was one day I was going with Y on his scooter and he was charging his watch on his scooter and asked me to drive . And i already said to remove it bcz it was a risk. And while was driving a bumper cam and his watch fell down and another vehicle went over it and it got destroyed. Then he blamed me for all and told other friends too that i caused it. And i was a quiet kid at that time so I didn't stand up and i was quite sad. And at the end of the day after returning home he forgave me . These were the incidents of 9th. Then came 10th we again became super close after that especially me and Y. Then came tuition times where we all used to sit at the last bench of the class and many times they used to try to remove my tshirt and take bad photos from bad angles. I never objectified.... Why bcz I was a dumbass. And a few times even girls saw that. Then one day during the exam Y talked to my cousin brother who was also part of the group but living in a different city. And Y asked one thing about my past and my cousin told his very few part. And Y asked me in school and I tried to neglect it but he somehow understood and tried to ask as a genuine friend. Since I had alot of personal issues in the past and my posture, my way of speaking all was affected. Basically my whole social life became hell. Then Y started telling ek to improve my weak posture alot like we would always try to point it out. And at first he was understanding too. But i wasn't able to improve it. So he basically started ignoring me in the group or either made it fun to pressurize me to improve it. But soon i also started developing my senses and then I started ignoring the whole group during December time saying that exams are soon . And I made this my main excuse to ignore them till boards. Then after the boards my cousin also came back to the city. And before boards me and Y and some kind of fight bcz he crossed limits so i basically fought back this time but still was unable to tell him the main reason. There was another bitcher in the group who was jealous of me because of my position in the group or how close i was close to A and Y so he started bitching about them to make me angry and leave the group but it didn't work so he started bitching about me to them. I knew that this one friend was fake but Y believed him. Till now we basically call ourselves only when we need or just through mutual and I even tried to make things fine between us but didn't work. So finally I told all the things to my cousin. And i know Y might seem bad but his father was murdered a few years back due to some dispute. And Y and I used to hangout everyday like even to get small things like pen or pencil we used to go together or just to do timepass and i used to be in his home most of the time. But now we don't talk also and sometimes I have good memories of them and sometimes I remember bad things happened between us.

And at this movement I am confused about whether I should finally understand it as the end of friendship or if they are genuine friends. And sometimes I am worried if they ever leaked our bad things and at the same time I remember that if they did anything I also have a bomb that our family knows each other and my brother knows their elder siblings so he would just tell them to delete it . This is one insecurity after being with them. Q

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u/Formal-Rutabaga176 — 9 days ago

So my friends group was basically created in my childhood. And i was one of the starting member of the group . We were 4 people. But after lockdown one member left the group and cut all connections and i also left the group bcz of some personal issues. Now I rejoined the group after 3 years with new people. Main or the leader members were my cousin brother, one old member from the main group and other 2 were new . Let's call then A and Y. I was close to them like super close. We three used to hangout alot. And during that time I was a simple kid who thinks gali is bad. They made me like them which was ok and they asked me to do things like creating moaning sounds and took its video. Then they used to take my bad photos alot. Me being dumbass I never stood for myself. Then came the first boiling incident . During one class I was taking a chair and was about to sit and then A pulled my chair from the back and a whole class of 70 people saw it. And sir came and scolded me and made me sit in the front bench . And after the class I didn't stop there and went to the home without talking and ignored all the calls from them. I should have cut the friendship at that time only but didn't. After going to the home from a separate route i reached home and they all came to apologise and that time I was trying to get to home as fast as I could but the door was locked. And for some time I didn't talk to them alot and maintained a distance. Then everything came back to normal. Then the 2nd incident was one day I was going with Y on his scooter and he was charging his watch on his scooter and asked me to drive . And i already said to remove it bcz it was a risk. And while was driving a bumper cam and his watch fell down and another vehicle went over it and it got destroyed. Then he blamed me for all and told other friends too that i caused it. And i was a quiet kid at that time so I didn't stand up and i was quite sad. And at the end of the day after returning home he forgave me . These were the incidents of 9th. Then came 10th we again became super close after that especially me and Y. Then came tuition times where we all used to sit at the last bench of the class and many times they used to try to remove my tshirt and take bad photos from bad angles. I never objectified.... Why bcz I was a dumbass. And a few times even girls saw that. Then one day during the exam Y talked to my cousin brother who was also part of the group but living in a different city. And Y asked one thing about my past and my cousin told his very few part. And Y asked me in school and I tried to neglect it but he somehow understood and tried to ask as a genuine friend. Since I had alot of personal issues in the past and my posture, my way of speaking all was affected. Basically my whole social life became hell. Then Y started telling ek to improve my weak posture alot like we would always try to point it out. And at first he was understanding too. But i wasn't able to improve it. So he basically started ignoring me in the group or either made it fun to pressurize me to improve it. But soon i also started developing my senses and then I started ignoring the whole group during December time saying that exams are soon . And I made this my main excuse to ignore them till boards. Then after the boards my cousin also came back to the city. And before boards me and Y and some kind of fight bcz he crossed limits so i basically fought back this time but still was unable to tell him the main reason. There was another bitcher in the group who was jealous of me because of my position in the group or how close i was close to A and Y so he started bitching about them to make me angry and leave the group but it didn't work so he started bitching about me to them. I knew that this one friend was fake but Y believed him. Till now we basically call ourselves only when we need or just through mutual and I even tried to make things fine between us but didn't work. So finally I told all the things to my cousin. And i know Y might seem bad but his father was murdered a few years back due to some dispute. And Y and I used to hangout everyday like even to get small things like pen or pencil we used to go together or just to do timepass and i used to be in his home most of the time. But now we don't talk also and sometimes I have good memories of them and sometimes I remember bad things happened between us.

And at this movement I am confused about whether I should finally understand it as the end of friendship or if they are genuine friends. And sometimes I am worried if they ever leaked our bad things and at the same time I remember that if they did anything I also have a bomb that our family knows each other and my brother knows their elder siblings so he would just tell them to delete it . This is one insecurity after being with them.

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u/Formal-Rutabaga176 — 10 days ago

I have one good and close friend let's call him Y . We both are 16 years old . We were childhood friends but i left the group for a few years. Then when i rejoined the group we became super close like we used to hangout nearly everyday no matter what rain , summer, winter. And we were very good friends. Then came the main issue he started pressurizing me for certain habits . Those habits are actually for my benefit only. And i know he is thinking good for me. But me being lazy and some personal issues made it hard to improve those habits so he started ignoring me a lot because he used to say to me from the very beginning of the friendship. And now he sometimes even ignores me when I ask him to come to hangout. He does not even cut the connection but he does not put in the effort also. I tried asking him alot of times if I did something wrong or why he is angry and even apologised and he said he is not angry but from behind i could understand he is. And many times he even ignored my calls now. We meet regularly through mutual friends but i tried talking to him. And he is even angry with me bcz I hate a particular person in the group. But he didn't know that person was bitching about him to me and when I started ignoring him then that person started spreading misinformation about me. I have discussed this with my other two good friends also. And one has decided to talk about this topic to him. And he is short tempered bcz he lost his father very early. So i know he nature is valid. And we had some kind of fight a few months ago and it got sorted too but still I don't know how to improve our friendship again. It's not his fault and mine too bcz i had gone to a lot of issues as a kid .

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u/Formal-Rutabaga176 — 11 days ago