Totally blindsided. Where do I go from here?
I'm late twenties and Husband is mid 30's, we've been together nearly 6 years and married for 3, no kids. Last night he told me he only sees me as a friend, isn't in love with me anymore and thinks we should separate. This monring and this afternoon we talked (and both cried a lot) and he repeated this, saying he categorically does not want to try and fix things (couples therapy etc). He's now packed a bag and left to stay with a friend.
I am beyond devastated, to the point where I'm struggling to see why I should bother with *anything* now. We've had a couple of issues over the past few years (nearly all around sharing housework) as well as intimacy (we haven't been intimate in 4/5 months because he hasn't been interested. I stopped trying due to fear of being rejected but he said today that he stopped trying before that due to his fear of being rejected! I've tried to raise it in conversation but we just don't get anywhere). I also know I've nagged about housework and moaned a bit about wanting to go on holiday (he wont fly due to fear of flying - I've tried suggesting other ways to travel but no dice.) but I had absolutely no idea he was so unhappy, to the point of just up and abandoning me! He said this morning that he resented me for making him live a normal life because he's so tired all the time (he had never had a full time job before he met me. Always been artsy and even played poker for a living for a bit. For the record I have NEVER forced him to get a job. I encouraged all of his projects or plans including with poker - but the bankroll ran out and there was bills to pay so here we are!)
We've lived together for 5 years, have 3 cats and all shared friends. I get along really well with his family and will be especially devastated about losing touch with his grandma who I adore. I spoke to his mum and my mum this morning and they are both equally baffled. We all feel there's basically 0% it's about another woman, because he's never been like that. I dont suspect that at all tbh
What the actual f am I supposed to do? I'm fully self employed as a freelancer and if I don't work I can't pay bills - so I can't even sit around and wallow for too long. I wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy. He was my best friend in the world