i wish something was wrong with me
this will sound bad and insensitive but sometimes i wish i would catch a terminal disease and die. it takes the hard part of suicide out of your hands. your death would simply be a sad tragic one instead of a suicide that comes with huge connotation. no one will put any blame on you. no one you know will put any blame on themselves. it would finally justify the feelings ive felt for years. no one would bat an eye if you say you're sad. it provides something physical that people can see and sympathize with. depression can be very invisible to people you only interact with for a moment of the day. a disease shows that something is actually wrong with you and that your not just making things up. you would get constant reassurance and people finally trying to help. This is just a thought i'm not really suicidal. sorry this is kind of badly written i dont wanna proof read this.