u/Forever_Sisyphus

I (30F) have just separated from my STBX (32M) about three months ago. We live in a state that doesn't technically have legal separation, but requires that a couple seeking a no-fault divorce live completely separated for a year first. We were only married for 11 months, but we had been together for 8 years total.

Thankfully, we don't have any kids and the only marital property we have is a house we jointly co-own that I'm impatient to sell that neither of us currently live in. For months, I'd been the only one handling any of the logistics and labor related to preparing the house for sale because, just like when we were together, he did absolutely nothing and made constant excuses.

Now all that's left to do is wait for a buyer to bite and take this dump off my hands. Things have significantly slowed down for me now that I'm settled in my new place, work is calming down, and I don't have to work on the house anymore. The issue is that now, I am *so goddamn angry* that I don't know what to do with myself anymore.

I'm doing what I can to prevent myself from doing something stupid. I talk about it in therapy, I've taken up a kickboxing class to work out the anger, I try to meditate... But GOD every single time I'm reminded of how emotionally abusive he was, how he dragged my name through the mud and humiliated me, how he SA'd me, how no matter what he did he always got to play the victim and have everyone we know rush to his side, how many times he cheated on me and I took him back... I am overcome with rage.

My therapist says that this is just part of the healing process, but that I need to work on moving past it because continuing to think and talk about what happened keeps me mentally entangled in the situation and prevents me from moving on. This doesn't seem right? I don't know. Maybe I need a new therapist.

All I know is that I hate him for what he did to me, I hate myself for letting it happen for so long, and I don't know what to do other than try to keep myself from doing some crazy shit like putting sugar in his gas tank or something.

Does it get better? Does the anger ever just go away? Is my therapist right that I need to just stop talking and thinking about it?