u/Foreign_Matter_4638

I really dont understand my habits anymore. When I was numbed fully out, I only cut like once every 20-40 days. But for some reason, now that there are a few more positives and happy moments in my life, the urges hit more often and harder. Like, I could handle the long stretches of depression, but its when its broken by happiness, the drop back down to being numb feels more extreme, making me cut more frequently despite feeling happier overall. Its really confusing and annoying