u/Foreign-Suggestion84

I feel so depressed now : 35 yo, always supported my family and I still need to be strong for my family ( parents and siblings ). But I feel so depressed I just want my life to be over. Im old , no kids, never had long term relationship, 5 short terms relationships, and evry time they leave me without explanation but for sure Im the problem. I gained 30kg in the last few years because of all the stress during my PhD and finances. I hate my body, hate my self, I don’t have friends now , the few that I had they moved out of the country. Loneliness is killing me and my body is disgusting, Im dieting but it’s getting hard. I just want everything to be over but I have to take care of my family.