u/Foreign-Royal983

I have been no contact for some time now. Last run was for 7 years. After a break not of my own making, Currently at another two. Realized i could never escape the scapegoat role, and so I cut ties- I have been much happier. But I’ve already done so much grieving for the parents and siblings relationships that I’ve struggled with for so long. Cut to a couple weeks ago, my mother messages my husband over facebook with a screenshot of a text she sent to all the siblings about my dad being in the hospital all of a sudden. Suddenly the emotional floodgates have been pried back open, and I’m reeling with processing and preparing myself to be around everyone again. I’m not cold hearted, I love my parents. I have never really been sure what to do if their health went south. Then it turns out it was a false alarm, and he wasnt having a stroke, and it was just his vision. And i felt so incredibly angry about this. I guess for context- it reminds me of a time when my mom posted to facebook “we were in a car wreck, pray for us” and it just turned out to be a little fender bender in a parking lot. An attempt for attention and sympathy. But this may not be, because my father is certainly getting older. Maunchausen by proxy has been a term a therapist brought up in regards to my mother. I dunno.

I had a brief convo with my aunt, and she asked if I’ve been to a counselor. I have, I have been to many counselors over the years trying to figure everything out. But not for this specific thing. And honestly, I work 60 hr weeks, do not have the time, and cannot afford to emotionally spiral in the event we touch on something heavy and I cannot make it to work. As good as my husband is, he is not well equipped for my emotional spirals. And i have no other support system… so I’m just trying to keep going as best I can.

Any advice would be appreciated.