MTF. I feel like I was sorta gaslit into having gender dysphoria. Your opinions please
Hi. I’m 24M. I know for a fact that I have had gender dysphoria since I was a toddler. I have wanted to be a girl since I’ve had conscious memories. It’s become somewhat sexual now, in the sense that I get turned on by the idea of me becoming a woman- which is something that’s been talked about in trans circles( forced fem kinks and so on). But even before I was sexually active i used to dream of being a girl. So no it’s not just a kink I developed. But here’s the thing. My mom always wanted a girl. Before I was born idk what her gyno was doing but she told my mom my sex was female and my mom was hyped for a girl. There were mentally prepared for a girl as well and bought all sorts of baby girl dresses and so on. But lo and behold, I stepped into this world already having disappointed my parents( lm
think this is hilarious). But here’s the thing. They also gave me a feminine name for whatever reason- like this name isn’t androgynous, it’s girly af( rhymes with Stacy) And then I remember how my mom always telling me about how much she wanted a girl. I
remember being dressed up as a girl by my mom. And it wasn’t just my mom. The running joke in my extended family was that they’d give me sex change surgery as a kid and that sorta terrified me cause they are joking about axing my pole. The jokes eventually stopped after I hit puberty and my height shot up taller than almost everyone around. But regardless, I feel like it rubbed off on me a lot. I do have gender dysphoria now but I’m not on hrt yet because I’m kinda terrified of it for various reasons, with the stressors being job/life security , social transition and general anxiety about passing but I’ll work through that at a pace I’m comfortable with and see what I want to do. But I have this lingering thought my dysphoria is not fully my own and that toddler me was gaslit to have it.
T