I (19F) am starting to learn that apparently coercion is a form of sexual assault. I’m not wanting to do anything about it, it’s been a year and besides this he was awful and I just don’t ever want to see him again. I think I’m just having trouble knowing if this was something I went through. There had been times where he begged me over and over again to give him head, never sex. Just head. Sometimes after saying no enough he would give up, but sometimes I’d just say yes because he wouldn’t stop asking. The reason why I don’t know if I was mistreated is because I still enjoyed it because I loved him and wanted to make him happy. I’m not trying to like make myself a victim, but I just never really thought about how I didn’t want to do it. I was so in love with him it never crossed my mind, but when I saw so many people speaking up about themselves being coerced and learning it’s SA I couldn’t help but start reflecting about this past relationship.
I’m sorry if this is a really extreme post, I just don’t have anyone to talk to. I’ve been SAed before, it’s just no one in my life was really there for me when it happened. I just can’t stop thinking about it and it’s eating me up inside.