I understand no medical advice. I just want to know what others have done and will consult my doctor with anything given.
I’m not sure if this has been posted anywhere on Reddit or not, but I’m currently going through my third round with benzos. I’ll try to keep my backstory brief. I’m 29 currently, who got prescribed my first klonopin when I was 18, as a senior in high school. At first I thought it was a wonder drug because it didn’t make me feel high or anxious, it made me feel normal, and got me thorough. Maybe 6 to 8 months after starting I decided to stop, with minor withdrawals, but nothing that I couldn’t cold turkey. So I was off of it for a little while in my early 20s and at some point due to reasons I no longer remember I jumped back on it. At some point when I tried to stop taking it, I would get to the lowest dose and wake up in the middle of the night with tremors and shake and shake until I took whatever dose I was supposed to . So I went with that for a while, assuming I would be stuck that way. Until one day it got even worse and altogether the medicine stopped working. At that point we were looking for something that would work, and family members had taken xanax. If it worked for them it would work for me. And sure enough, xanax worked, at least as a bandaid to the problem. A few years in, just consistently taking it, I started weaning off and got down to .25 mg. Many of you may or may not know that is the lowest dose of xanax. With that, I hit a wall and could not get off. This is what I consider my second round with benzos. My psychiatrist introduced me to the Ashton protocol, with a slight modification in that she allowed me to taper down very, very slowly, at my own pace. I should add, she transitioned me to valium at this point. So I was off benzos and scott free, got into a health kick, lost a lot of weight, lost my anxiety, etc. 2024 came around and in a state of stress I reached for a bottle of pills. Nothing heavy, but I took one and was quickly hooked again. As if I stopped the withdrawals were far worse than anything I had dealt with before. This is probably about two years after I withdrew the second time. So I stayed the course with xanax, and figured I would go back to the aston protocol with valium, which I have done. It has been notably harder, but when I started valium, I was at 30 milligrams, and am since down to 7.5, where I have been for a few months now. The problem is that the valium seems to have stopped working and I am now having withdrawal effects while still taking it. I had been stable on this dose for months without changing it. So right now I am looking for anyone who has advice with experience with this as if I go up I will reinforce the BIND addiction potentially and if i go down what is already hell will become unbearable. I should also note that I took 30mg of prozac, bumped up from 20 to 30. I do have hydroxyzine which helps when I can be at home lying down, but when I am out and about it can make things worse. .very hard to drive as I am in sales and really need my job. I have also tried l-theanine and occasionally I take it but it has a mild effect compared to the intensity I feel, and sometimes I think it makes the derealization symptoms worse. I’m dealing with intense agoraphobia, anxiety, etc. If this had been my alst dose this would be understandable or I would know it is going to end but right now I am suffering the same withdrawal symptoms as if I had cleanly stopped, but I still have a ways to go;. Does anyone have any recommendations?
If any of this comes across weird, forgive me as I had someone else who has been very helpful, typing it.