Me and my husband have been together for 5 years now, married for one. Two years ago he lost his dad and brother, since then he has fallen into a depression and it’s progressively getting worse. Last week he had therapy for the first time. There is no telling how well it will help as of now. He is at a point where he has given up and feels like he will never get better. Last night he proposed that we should split up, since he thinks I deserve better and he is pulling me down with him.
I do agree that right now our relationship is very strained. We have no intimacy and I can feel this big emotional distance between us. But it’s not like I am constantly thinking about our situation and feeling miserable. Some time ago, I’ve decided that the best thing I can do for him, is to be happy and live my life. And it’s been working for me. So I am confident when I say, I have time to give and I’ll be patiently waiting for him to start healing. It just does not feel right to give up on us and let the depression win.
I know that him wanting to break-up is just the depression talking, so what kind of partner would I be if I just left and let him self-destruct his own life like this? I love him and the thought of him going through this all alone breaks my heart.
I am confused on what I should do. Am I on the right track by refusing to break-up? Would me leaving be better for him somehow? Is it possible for something like this to pass while being in a relationship? If us breaking up will eventually make him better, I would do that for him. But how do I know for sure? What if that makes it even worse?
This whole situation feels very confusing.
So I guess I am just looking for some success stories, honestly any advice would be appreciated.