I really need advice
37M and me 27F.
We got married last year but been dating for 3 years so in total 4 years together. I’ve been raised in a strict manner and we were never allowed to date until its time to get married. I of course lied to my parents and did date. I never had sex but just dated, kissed, touched and thats it. With one guy, i did have sex with and i ended up in therapy because i regretted it and know i was saving myself for marriage. Anyways i worked on myself, got better and decided its time to be serious, not to have sex again and find a husband.
I found my husband and initially everyone around me and my cultural teachings say we shouldnt tell anyone our past as long as we have repented and not do it again which was exactly me. BUT i didn’t want to start a relationship with the intention of marriage on a lie so i told him yes i dated before and yes i had sex with one guy only. The other relationships i was young and nothing progressed sexually. I also said we shouldnt (both of us) talk about our past relationships in detail because we should start fresh and its human nature to keep thinking how ur partner was with others. He agreed.
A couple of times (2/3 times) hes asked me randomly to go into detail and i said no because i know his personality and he will start to think things that don’t exist. Hes told me about his past because kids were involved and his sadness towards not being able to see all his kids.
Recently his phone broke and i gave him my old phone to use (i did use that phone time to time as i made it my business phone). I thought everything on my phone like pics and chats are deleted but a few were there. I have over 40k of photos n videos over the years so i must of missed some when deleting things before i even met my now husband.
I’ve always given him all my passwords, give him my phone freely and we have such an amazing marriage and love. My dad did not approve of him but the rest of my family did but my dad didn’t want to budge to even meet him. I defied everything and married him because i love him more than anyone.
I’m quite sheltered in life and childish at times because I’ve never really had to understand the real world so maybe this has an effect on how i think so i need advice. He told me he’s hurt which i expect and he feels less than. I told him i didn’t have sex with him, and i dumped that guy because i realised i didn’t want him or love him. I just didn’t go into detail about my relationship with that guy. Just to reiterate i did tell him about the guy i had sex with before.
I told my husband before we got married he cheated on me twice and i forgave him everything whereas if that happened with anyone else i wouldn’t even stay just leave. I reminded him i went against my dad to marry him which again I’ve never done before. I know this will take time but is this recoverable and does anyone have any tips to save my marriage?
Tldr: can this marriage be saved? Any tips? Anything i can do?