u/Fluid-Bug-6383

Me and my ex of 5 years broke up 8 months ago. The breakup was mutual and amicable. I’ve been interested in one of the guys in his friend group, him and my ex are not close, and are friends by convenience as they play sport together.

I know the feelings between him and me are mutual, we have been talking and hanging out. It’s a really awkward situation and we both don’t know how to navigate it. We both feel like horrible people for considering this but I feel like it might turn into something real. I’ve tried to go on dates with other guys but I always have my exes friend in the back of my mind.

I don’t know how to move forward with this, we both feel very guilty about it. Is it worth even trying?

TLDR: I want to date my exes friend but I feel awkward and don’t know what to do

Me (f25) and my ex (m25) have officially ended our relationship/situationship.

For context I he was part of my exes friendship circle, that’s how we met.

As soon as we started talking, he would text me all day everyday and we would call all night, he showered me with gifts and attention. And spent 1200$ on our first date. He told me he never did this for any other girls before and that I was special.

One thing I noticed from the start is that he always liked to insult me as a “joke” make fun of my breast size, call me stupid, dumb b*tch etc and then say it’s a joke and ask why would I take him seriously as he’s obviously joking.

We entered a relationship after a couple of months. He refused to tell his friends and family we were dating. About a month into our relationship I found out that he was lying about where he was on nights out, onetime I went through his phone and found many other chats with girls on his instagram. I confronted him about it and he said he lied to me to “preserve my feelings” i believed him and asked him to never lie to me again.

A couple of weeks later he ended things after I brought up the fact that I wanted him to meet my family. He said he was unsure of the relationship and felt guilty that he was dating a friends ex (he had no guilt having sex with me/taking me on dates though)

Once we broke up he was adamant that he wanted to stay in my life and help me move out, and hang out as “friends” and said he wanted to be friends that “exclusively fucked”

For the few weeks after he was extremely hot and cold, the insults ramped up and he kept telling me we’re just “friends” and for me to not think we’re dating. Even though he kept taking me on dates, buying me gifts, and sleeping with me.

Last night I went through his phone as I had a suspicion he was lying to me about where he was the weekend before. I found out that instead of the “cousins party” he went to, he actually went on an overnight hike with a random girl. He told me prior that he cancelled this hike because he knew it would hurt my feelings, yet I found out he did it anyway. I also saw messages that he was buying a hotel for her and taking her on a date this weekend.

I confronted him about it and he denied the whole thing, saying that he was going out with her and her other friends, and that the hotel was for them to wash up, not to stay over at. I ended up calling the girl he was texting and she proved all of his lies.

He found out and completely flipped out at me, degrading me and calling me emotionally immature. I feel like I’ve been mentally tortured.

Edit*** we have stopped seeing eachother and I will never see him again I just want to know that I’m not crazy

**tldr guy I am on and off with is seeing other girls while dating me and having sex with me and is mad I caught him out on it **