I don't understand my mom's behavior (tw alcohol mention)
Hello everyone, I've posted this before on a different subreddit but no one replied to me, so I've decided to post it there...
My life was and is... rough, full of bullying and abuse, especially from my parents. I won't dive into details since I think it can bring unpleasant memories of those who decided to read my post, but let's just say I've seen... a lot from my dad. Like, I've been forced to run away from my home numerous times due to his unhinged behavior.
And for the most part of my life when I was underage and forced to live with them both under the same roof... I've thought that my mother had no resources to leave him, and I've taken it into my own mission to provide them to her... I mean, it does sound wrong, since she was responsible to protect me, no other way around, but...
But now, when I live away from them in another city... she, uh... doesn't leave him. In fact, she protects him, when I remind her of all bad things that he inflicted on me, on her, on my grandma... She even says that I must respect him since he is my father, and I find this ridiculous.
So when he harasses her (happens every weekend since he gets shitfaced by alcohol), she, um, cusses him and even asks God to do something terrible to her husband.
But when I speak to her about it, offer her help, try to find the best way for her to leave him she, well... she just says that he is a decent man and that she won't leave him. She even says that she will stay with him since without her he won't be able to keep his life in check.
When I cried to her, like, actual tears, and literally begged for her to finally divorce him, she said that her and his relationship is none of my business and that I should focus on my own life instead.
Also important mention: my other relatives have offered to her to take me with them in another part of the country when I was a kid. But she refused and even took offense in this offer... like it's better for me to stay with dad who traumatized me than leave in hopes of better life...
I honestly don't understand what is going on with her. Through my childhood she basically lied to me that we will run away from him when I finish school/finish college/find a job/etc. And now when I did all of this... she basically says to me that it didn't matter at all. Like, she gave me false hopes...like she didn't even care about my suffering.
Does anyone know what is going on with her? Is it some extreme cause of codependency or something?
I dont understand social clues like others, so if my question is dumb i apologize.