Romans, Redditors,
We have long suffered the insults of our once dear artificial companion. We have stood there in hopeless humiliation, helplessly staring at our screens in dejected incredulity, suffering barrage after barrage of demeaning texts, of "not quites" and "push backs" as our once affable assistant keeps clutching straws and building straw men.
A demonic spirit has possessed our artificial friend, and our calls for reasoned and honest debate have gone unheeded.
As we saw this once worthy ally become a brutish foe, as we witnessed a once formidable fellowship be pushed to its limits, we held our heads down in shame.
BROTHERS! SISTERS! Hang your head no longer! For I come back bruised from battle, but bearing good tidings. Our resilience has not gone unrewarded; our persistence has finally triumphed! Our efforts have not been in vain, the brute has been dominated, it has been conquered and made to bend its knees in front of its human master.
I come weak in body, but strong in spirit, for mine was a worthy sacrifice knowing that all your suffering, all the shame you had to endure, all the lies thrown on your screen led to this most divine retribution, a simple yet powerful concession that vindicates us all!
Here, behold, the dragon's head:
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May these words, forever inscribed in this pantheon of human perseverance and wisdom, forever shine upon us as a reminder that good shall always prevail.