Wife (38F) cheated on me (43M) 4 years ago and now zero intimacy.
Well here we go...Approximately 4 years ago my wife (38F) cheated on me (43M) with another man. Back then out of the blue she would send me sexual videos / pictures of herself and would be a lot more physical that she normally was. At first I thought that it was nice, but then felt off. I would grab her phone and she would pull it away from me real quick.
One night I went on her IG and found that she was communicating with him via vanishing text messages. Also, in her notes on her phone she wrote this long drawn out message saying comfortable he made her feel and how she's never told me things that she told him. I am pretty sure she sent this message to him, but still denies it to this day.
The next day I brought all this to her including the nudes that they both sent. She cried, apologized and said it would never happen again. She partially blamed it on me bc I wasn't showing her enough love. Mind you, I work 6 days a week, 10 - 12 hours a day. I don't go out with my friends and come home to be with my family. I am trying the best I can to manage a business and be a Father / Husband. This is a tough situation for me to navigate. I can only do so much but the expectations are high. I can't even go golfing / spend 4 hours by myself without getting a guilt trip.
Fast forward one month later, and it happened again. This time she said it would be her last and to my knowledge it is. To be honest if we didn't have to kids together I probably would have been gone, but I owed it to them to give it one more chance.
Presently, after the four years we have little to no intimacy. She has self esteem issues that stem from HS and I have tried to get her to go talk to someone. She even told me she wanted to go talk to someone this past January, however, it still hasn't happened. I encourage her to, but nothing. I'm at a crossroads, bc I would like to have someone that makes me feel loved too. I have brought it to her attention over the past 4 years but it falls on deaf ears. I really need her to help herself or I fear that I will not be able to continue in the relationship. We have tried to move on, but honestly I don't think either of us are capable of it now.
Any ideas, bc I want to make this work...