A couple nights ago she told me she was going out with 3 girls from work. Later on, she was supposed to pick me up. As the night went on, she mentioned that 2 male coworkers had met up with them. She also said she might need to drop one of the male coworkers off after picking me up. That caught my attention because she hadn’t mentioned anyone else joining them earlier.
Plans then changed and she said not to worry, that she’d just pick me up and we’d go home. On the car ride back, I felt like she was a bit unclear and jumbling her words when talking about the night, which made me slightly uneasy, but I didn’t think too much of it at the time.
That night, I couldn’t sleep and ended up going on her iPad (I know this wasn’t right and I do feel bad about it). While I was on it, I saw a chat with the same guy she was originally going to drop off, and it showed he was “typing,” but no message came through. That made me more suspicious.
From looking further, I realized she had actually picked him up along with the 3 girls from work. She didn’t just meet him out. I have no issue with her being the sober one and picking people up , I just don’t understand why she felt the need to not be fully honest about it.
I also checked to see if she had been messaging another guy I don’t like, and I saw that she had been texting him. Nothing inappropriate , he was asking where she was since he was out too ,but she knows I’m uncomfortable with her texting him because he has been flirty with her in the past.
I then checked her phone and realized those messages had been deleted there, but were still visible on the iPad.
I spoke to her about it the next day. She admitted that she picked that guy up and wasn’t fully honest about it, and said she didn’t really know why she didn’t tell me.
I also asked her about deleting messages with the other guy. At first she she was acting like she didn’t know what I was talking about, but when I showed her the messages on the iPad, she admitted she deleted them because she didn’t want me to think anything was going on or cause conflict.
We had a calm conversation, and she apologized and said she understood why it was wrong. I explained that if you feel the need to hide or delete something to avoid conflict, then that’s the real issue.
Now I’m left feeling a bit unsure. Am I overthinking small inconsistencies, or is this something I should take more seriously in terms of trust?