Please Read! Desperate for some uplifting advice!
I feel so very…like my insides are being torn apart right now. I already worry far too much about my appearance and I know I’ve always struggled with extreme social anxiety, depression, eating disorders, addiction…
I’ve spent twenty plus years on therapists, meds, spirituality…everything to be able to feel like I can simply live life. There have been many ups and downs but, maybe it’s turning into my midlife, that I feel I will not overcome this. Because I’ve been doing this for a decade now. I always got most attention or felt loved for my appearance and so worked hard at the gym and with my diet. Ten years ago was the first time I shaved off my long blonde hair. It wasn’t as traumatic as it feels now. Because I promised myself I’d never do it again. I wanted healthy hair. I basically have been feeling extremely unattractive and now middle aged and started bleaching my hair at home. Day by day it got worse. I fried it, cut it and now just basically shaved it off in tears again.
I’m so embarrassed. I hate wigs and hats etc. and wish I could believe I could feel as loved beautiful by people as when I look like this now. 😪
I know our culture can put a lot of pressure on women and it worked great on me. I placed most of my value on my outside and did feel like I got more love. Was more loved. How can I get over this again?
Feel attractive when I know my bf loves long hair :(
He still says he loves me but I feel like I can tell he’s not as physically interested in me as much. I’m just so devastated and depressed.