Hello! I’d just like to hear your thoughts regarding the situation I’ve found myself it. I’m in somewhat of a situationship with a guy younger than me (25F, he is 21M). We’re both comfortable at the moment of not really defining our relationship as anything more, considering we are somewhat LDR too, but we’ve both admitted to liking eachother and agreed to discuss it if we could be more once we’re at a place where we can consistently see eachother face to face or live closer to eachother.
When we first met online, he was quite consistent with his replies but as time went on, he’d sometimes go 3-5 days without any replies, and I’d double even triple text him occasionally. This used to annoy me, he’d reassure me and then the cycle repeats. He recently admitted to me that he has ADD (Inattentive ADHD) which is why he sometimes go on days without replying after I got mad at him again for his inconsistent replies. I’ve tried to be understanding once I learned this but I still can’t help but feel occasionally insecure and frustrated when he begins to ‘ignore’ me again. But the thing is, since he told me I can’t help but feel the days he forgets to reply is happening more frequently, to the point these days I feel like I’m waiting for a reply that’s coming in two to three business days.
My question is directed to anyone who has ADHD or has dated/been in a relationship with one. Is this expected behaviour or something you’d consider normal, and just something I’ll have to learn to live it? I know the forgetfulness is part of the condition but I still can’t help but feel abandoned. When he does reply he still acts as flirty and interested, just less romantic compared to before. I’ve brought this up with him and he’s told me that he still feels the same towards me, it’s just that he has a lot of ‘distractions’ right now (when we first met, he had quite a bit of depression and didn’t really have the energy to go out. But these days he told me he’s managed it and is always going out now with friends etc.). But if so, does it explain why he seemed to be more distracted now since telling me? I’m wondering if this is just behaviour attributed to his condition or it’s a sign he’s losing interest and just stringing me along? Considering the distance and our age gap, I can’t help but wonder.
I’d like to hear your thoughts on this matter, thank you all so much 💛