u/Flimsy_Rabbi

I’m a 24M Muslim revert from the west and recently married 23F syrian girl she’s also from the west and im having doubts if she’s really chaste as she says she is as it’s so difficult nowadays especially in the west ..

I read many posts on here about women lying about their past and tbh im terrified of finding out her past because im unfortunately falling in love with her 😅 and it’s going to hurt like crazy …

She told me she had something with a kafir but only going on dates coffee shops to get to know each other that’s it nothing Haram .. but who knows because she’s really pretty also .

اَلسَلامُ عَلَيْكُم وَرَحْمَةُ اَللهِ وَبَرَكاتُهُ

I 24M married my 23F wife two weeks ago we both live in different countries in the EU so for now we’re doing visits until we find a place in sha Allah and I spent one week at her house after doing the Nikkah and I had an amazing time with her etc

The problem is , I’m unsure on what to do with her because the reality is there’s many red flags in her and as well many mistakes I did and I’m not sure if this is going to work at all . First and foremost , whenever we have a discussion she threatens to leave indirectly by telling me Allah can always take His Blessing back and she also gives me silent treatment whenever she gets pissed about something which I didn’t like . I also caught her staring at a guy on the train both staring at each other which felt disrespectful to me and to end with , she doesn’t want to marry legally which makes me think she’s also unsure of the marriage as it works in her favour not mine. And on top of this , when I saw her without hijab I was disappointed because I didn’t like her as much physically .. she also seems to not initiate conversations unless I do via text now which pisses me off.

From my part , I lied to her about a couple of things firstly about my studies because I was sick for a couple of years due long covid and I stopped studying etc and she thinks I’m recovered now and finishing uni which is not true . I physically look fine and have an athletic body because on my good days I work out so you can’t physically see I’m sick . Second she also lied to her father to be able to accept me , telling him I’m finishing etc and I have money which was a lie .. the reason I married her is because Allah promised us He will enrich us if we marry first but me being ill I don’t know as I’m unable to work .

I’m unsure on what to do because at the same time she’s been very supportive she didn’t ask Mahr she treated me like a king at her house cooking for me etc , told me she’s with me till the end doesn’t matter if I don’t have anything , loved me and cared for me deeply with words and actions etc but yeah what would you do in my shoes ?

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

I 24M married my 23F now wife two weeks ago everything is fine but we live in two different countries in the EU so for now we’re doing long distance/ doing visits till I find a place for both of us in sha Allah

However, one thing that keeps happening is that her father wants to make it official and sign documents from the government however she doesn’t want to do it insists the one islamically (not official) is enough which it is in the eyes of Allah but can’t help but raise doubts about her choice as it works out on her favour not mine and every marriage has to be done legally official after all on both governments ..

I have been wondering if she’s maybe unsure of our marriage that’s why she doesn’t want to do it ? Because it’s weird .. I tried asking her but she gives me vague answers and keeps insisting is not needed ..

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

I’m a 24M Muslim revert of 3 years Alhamdulillah and I have a problem with the beard because I know it’s Haram to shave it as the prophet ﷺ commanded us to leave it grow and if we follow him ﷺ we follow Allah as he also said however I just admit that the beard looks horrible on me because it doesn’t grow fully it grows in patches and for me it looks horrible so I shave it because there’s no way to have a normal full beard I can only grow a thick goatee at most .

I know it’s Haram to shave it , but will I really go to Hell if I do everything right but this? Is it that much of a big deal ? Only Allah knows best but I do fear Allah so I want to be careful , it’s just that I really can’t grow a beard it doesn’t look neat and I don’t feel confident or myself etc and also I think my spouse will also like me less physically etc ..

Is it that much of a big deal to shave it ?

I’m a 24M Muslim revert from the west and my wife is 23F born syrian Muslim we met on January of this year online and had two dates in person then we married two weeks ago I travelled to her country ( we live different countries in the EU) did the Nikkah stayed with her for a week we prayed together etc romantic dates we felt deep love and connection everything went good.

However since I’m back in Spain my country I feel like our communication via text is not that good . For instance in the beginning when I arrived here we were texting a lot then we had a 2 hour call about her coming to my house in a month her buying flight etc and then after the call things were distant we both went silent for 3 days or so till I reached out then we talked a lot for hours then the next day Sunday she asked me for permission to go out with her friends and texted a little but then complete silence again and I don’t know if it’s normal to have these three days or two days gap of silence .

I’m thinking to never reach out again and see what happens because tbh this silence makes me uncomfortable especially when we were together a lot in her country . I don’t want to tell her because I don’t want to sound needy or anything but I don’t know what to think of this she also didn’t want to marry legally which I don’t like..and im overthinking maybe she is testing me or is unsure now