I have a family member getting married end of May. When venue touring, the grooms mom let’s call her Karen, really wanted them to book a venue they saw during a tour however it was going to take up over half their budget. They wanted to keep looking however, the grooms mom Karen spoke up and said she will be covering the DJ, Rehearsal dinner, bar package and the catering. This shocked everyone and by no means did anyone ask her to do this, she offered on her own. Brides family even double checked and asked if she was sure because that is a lot. She confirmed yes she will do that. So with those things being covered the venue was booked.
Karen offered to throw the couple a wedding shower, 2 weeks before the shower she canceled the shower.
6 weeks before the wedding Karen waited until the groom was getting ready to head to his bachelor trip and called him and said she is no longer paying for anything she committed to for the wedding. She proceeded to bash the brides family acting like they were dumping all of this on her and that is not the case or true because she’s the one who volunteered on her own and offered to pay for things. She even made sure to rub it in her sons face what she will be doing much more for his brother who is getting married in the fall trying to like hold it over his head look at what I’m doing for him and I’m not going to do this for you. It’s just to be mean and cruel to hurt him. It literally broke the grooms heart, and he has been so upset that his mother would do these things to him. He’s a very sweet guy and has a very non confrontational personality and does not deserve to be treated like this.
With 30 days before the wedding, groom and Karen got into an argument about something else she did to him. That day during the argument the groom uninvited his mother to the wedding. She flipped out threatening to come anyway and said unless they get a restraining order, they can’t stop her from coming.
She has now been on a mission to try to turn his whole family against him. She has called to tell him that she has told his half sisters and other family members her side of the story, which, of course does not include the truth, and that everybody in his family is against the groom and on Karen’s side. She is hell bent on trying to destroy their wedding. She has argued with the bride and groom. She does not like the bride and she does not want them to get married so she has been rather difficult in my opinion causing problems showing favoritism between one brother versus the other . During the whole time they’ve been engaged Karen has done nothing but bad mouth the bride to be and her family. She is trying to make the grooms family choose sides and if we don’t want to be involved or pick a side she doesn’t speak to us. She is becoming obsessed with trying to destroy this marriage before its starts and I don’t know what to do.
I have heard parts of the groom side of the story however he does not like drama and he does not want to badmouth his mother so he doesn’t really defend himself, but he will say little parts of what is going on, but doesn’t go into too much detail. He’s more heartbroken and just upset that his mother is causing all these problems for him and he’s not used to standing up to his mother, and I think she’s in shock that he finally stood up to her and told her not to come to the wedding.
Am I the asshole for still growing and supporting a family member’s wedding despite his mother trying to recruit the whole grooms side not to attend?