Is porn really that bad?
23M, genuinely asking because I feel like maybe I’m just ignorant to how porn has potentially been affecting my life. Like a lot of boys I first found it around 13 or 14, since then I’ve gone through phases where it’s been a daily habit while also going through some patches where I’d go months without it.
To be frank, I’ve never struggled with women, and I’d say from the age of 17 til now I’ve pretty much been able to have sex at my leisure, and for a long time I would. In my college years it got pretty bad, for an entire semester I don’t think I slept alone once, literally rotating through women by the day of the week. Despite how it looks I’ve never felt like this was a sex problem, I’ve never felt like a sex addict, it felt like a loneliness/boredom issue. I didn’t like to be alone and it was easy to get women to want to spend time with me, and sex was just a byproduct of what would happen when your spending time alone with a woman as a college man.
For six years it’s been a very consistent part of my routine, but as I get older the cost of sex just gets more and more expensive. I live on my own, maintain a regular social life, work a demanding full time job, and I run my own business, my time is more limited and more valuable than it probably ever has been. Even without considering the time energy and money that is casual dating, at its VERY cheapest form, sex costs at least 8 hours of productivity. Call a girl, she comes over maybe 10/11 pm, entertain her for a couple hours, go through a few rounds, get some actual sleep, maybe by like 3am. If you’re super lucky and it’s a weekday and she’s got a job, send her home by 7 am. Now not only did I have an unproductive night, post nut clarity has me feeling almost ashamed of myself, my schedule for the next day is out of wack, and now any positive momentum I had been feeling for myself is disrupted.
I don’t think I’m overly horny but ofc just like anybody else I get urges, and with ADHD sometimes it’s just the urge to feel something. Past few months I’ve especially been trying to limit these encounters when I do get those desires to make that call or send the texts. I can literally beat the impulse away. I take a 15 minute break, then I can carry right on with my routine as normal. I’m still attracted to women just the same, no wild fantasies or kinks, I still am able to perform, still able to treat women like normal humans, a lot of the effects people warn of porn addiction Ive just never experienced. I feel like keeping porn as part of my routine has helped me to stay on track and kept me from the time, money and energy consuming alternative that is casual sex, but I genuinely want to know if maybe I’m lying to myself and I’m just being naive. Or is casual sex just as bad? Idk I feel like I never hear about people being shamed for casual sex the same way porn addicts get criticized, but assuming neither are taking over your life, porn just seems like the safer option.