u/FlightZealousideal13

There is nothing i can do that will make me feel pretty when i wear it. Unlike many I dont have a choice. I live in the middle east and recently unemployed and my dad told me he’d kick me out if i take it off. Ive been wearing it since i was 12, im 27 now. I really see no hope out of this. I lost my prettiest youthful years to this shit. Ive tried to reason with my parents but theyd rather see me in a body bag than see me leave the house without it. It made me hate my family and hate religion and myself. Every time i catch my reflection i feel i want to set myself on fire. I’m not religious at all anymore. I hate that this is my life, i hate that i lost my job and i hate that i will have to trade my family for having a choice. No one is coming to save me and i know that, i have to figure something out but its been so long of the same fucking misery for so many years that it feels like there wont be a day where i can feel wind in my hair or the freaking sun on my skin. I hate how ugly i feel with it and ik this is shallow but i want to feel pretty. I dont want to carry the weight of religion in every room i walk in, i dont want to represent islam i dont want any of that. I just want to have a choice in how i dress and how i present myself. I’ve grown so bitter and resentful and i feel im forever scarred because of this. Some days i try to ignore but today it just feels so unbearable. I feel sorry for myself that this is the life i have to live. There are so many girls in the world who never have to worry about this. Ive missed so much, i will never get that back, and i dont even know if my future is promising.