Getting married to move out?
Assalamu alaikum,
I am the oldest (F23) in my family and have much younger siblings. I often take care of my siblings and act as the second mom and alhamdulillah, I take this responsibility as an amanah from Allah and am grateful for helping out. Some days, there is emotional conflict in the house which can make everyone uncomfortable. Because of this, I feel like I have to stay at home to help out extra and make sure everyone is doing okay.
But lately, I feel like I am missing out on my own path in life. I used to want to get married very badly when I was 19-21 but that changed because of my own emotional problems and having trouble opening up. Getting married sounds nice but I often worry that I will end up resenting my husband because of unresolved issues from my own parents. Is it a good idea to start the marriage search and try to get married as a way to leave my family? Of course, there are other reasons like having a partner, emotional comfort, financial security, protecting chastity, etc.
By not getting married now, I feel so much FOMO from hearing stories from my married friends and I feel like it sounds so much easier than being a "second mom" now. Also, I would feel guilty if I were to simply live on my own by moving out. I don't want my family to think that I'm running away from them. I just don't know what I want right now and whenever I look into the future, it feels so blurry and confusing.
Any advice would be appreciated.