I invited the guy I’m dating to a worship night tonight. He’s Catholic and I’m more non-denominational( worship style definitely mirrors more Pentecostal) I knew it would probably feel different for him, but I didn’t realize how overwhelmed he would get. He ended up really anxious afterward and kind of emotionally shut down/go quiet, which honestly hurt my feelings because I was trying so hard to make him feel safe and not pressured. I probably should’ve started with a reg Sunday service instead of a prayer/worship night 😭😭😭😭 in hindsight.
At the same time, I recently attended his Catholic church with him even though I personally felt awkward and out of place too. I tried to stay open-minded and emotionally present because I cared about experiencing something important to him. So I think part of what’s hurting is feeling like I extended that grace, but tonight he kind of disappeared emotionally afterward instead of communicating with me.
The thing is… this reaction is SUPER unlike him. He’s normally very affectionate, reassuring, and communicative, which is why this caught me so off guard.
I also know so far I’m personally not willing to give up having a sermon/teaching aspect in church because that’s a really important part of how I grow in my faith, but I also wouldn’t mind finding a smaller or calmer church environment together someday if this isn’t his thing.
For those who’ve dated across different church backgrounds:
How did you navigate differences in worship style/church culture without either person feeling judged or pressured? And how do you tell the difference between someone simply being overwhelmed vs actual incompatibility?
Please be kind 😭🤍